Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts

December 15, 2014

Tacky Christmas photos of my books.

This post is sponsored. By me.

I'm going over the top with tacky photos of my books surrounded by Christmas decorations. If all the shops can do it, why can't I? Amateur is the new Awesome!




I used to get down on myself for sucking.


But you know what? I've sold 17 books in the last 17 days: there are at least 17 people who will see my books on Christmas morning. That may sound pathetic to some but I think I'm doing pretty well for someone who is very bad at marketing.




Those 17 books would not have sold without the help and support of those who shared my books, did book reviews and blog posts and took the time to be generally encouraging and say nice things. I love you forever and back.





And I suppose I should give some love to my bad self for even drawing those books in the first place.

"Three books in one year, JC, on top of everything else that you do. Focus on those 17 people unwrapping your books on Christmas day and smile."


*pats self on back*


December 21, 2013

I am Santa.

SPOILER ALERT: Don't show this to your kids if they still believe. 

Usually I'm too busy to contribute to Neil's Annual Blogger Christmahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concerts, and this year is no exception. But last night, at around 11 PM, I thought I'd throw some animation together with this Christmas lullaby I wrote for my kids when they were little.

Yeah, I was thinking maybe just a couple of drawings...but when I next looked up from my animation, it was 6 o'clock in the morning. Oopsies.

Guys, I did it again.

The song is called "I am Santa" and it riffs off the idea that these kids are supposed to be good in order to get treats. By the way, I subscribe to the philosophy that people should just be good, period. Parenting is hard. It's hard to teach little people how to be good. It's hard to watch them grow up and not need you anymore...

When I wrote this song, my daughters were eight and eleven years old, so they already had inklings about Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. But my son was only five and even though he sang along with a big smile whenever I played it, he didn't actually figure out what it was about until he was ten.



Uh.... now I'm nervous. Because it's just a dinky little acoustic recording. But whatever, it's from the heart and the thirteen-year-old boy loved it. So this is for him.

For a splendid array of seasonal spirit, songs, poems and videos by real authentic actual people, go see Neil's Eight Annual Blogger Christmahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert, CitizenoftheMonth. It's one of the best blogs out there, at any time of year, and I'm not just saying that.


December 25, 2012

Christmas Mojo.

Caption this drawing:


And have yourself a merry Little (insert seasonal-type celebration)!

PS. Hugs are the best.


December 23, 2012

The Last Minute MEANINGFUL Gift Guide.

If you're like me, you resent having to buy a gift just because it's expected. You want to give something that shows you've thought about the person, something meaningful; or at the very least, something useful (that doesn't trash the Planet).

And what about the little kids - how do you teach them to give meaningful gifts without spending a ton of money out there? Perhaps you still have presents to buy but just can't face another day at the mall!

Here's a handy last-minute gift-guide with Coupons:

1.  One of the best things you can give someone is your time, so how about a coupon for spending an afternoon catching up or just sitting awkwardly together?



2.  A foot-rub  is a great gift (if you're on touchy-feely terms). Here, I made you a coupon.



3.  Pedi-paint! Who doesn't like a little colour on their toenails? 



4. Co-chore coupon. Doing chores alone is a bummer - but doing them together gives you quality time and gets it done faster. I made you some co-chore coupons if you want to print them out for your kids to give mom or dad. For girls....


...or boys.



5.  Nothing says "I love you" like "I will sit through a movie with you." Kids can give this coupon to parents or vice-versa. Thanks to co-choring, you'll have more time for watching movies. Or napping.



6.  Yup. I made a porn version for grownups. That was The Huz's suggestion haw haw. #NSFW



7.  This one prolly won't work but it's worth a shot: It's called "The I will be quiet for 5 minutes Coupon". It's worth an eye-roll between parents if nothing else.



8.  Some folks feel that nothing is more meaningful than bacon, but they're trying to cut down. A coupon for bacon is the next best thing to actual bacon. I am so smart.



9.  But then there's Chocolate. Nothing is more meaningful than chocolate.



10.  Oh wait....I forgot WINE. Nothing is more meaningful than wine.



11.  After using your Wine Coupon you'll want to sleep in. Wouldn't it be nice if your spouse took the kids in the morning so you could sleep as late as you want? If you truly love someone, you'll give them this coupon. It's deeply meaningful.




My favorite presents are drawings. Obviously.

I made you a PDF HERE so you can easily print these coupons out, use them as stocking stuffers, or just forward them in an email to someone you love (or like a lot). They are FREE to use as gifts and they make good gifts ALL YEAR ROUND.

I love you and you are welcome.


December 12, 2012

A bunch of twelves.

It's the 12th minute of the 12th hour of the 12th day of the 12th month of the 12th year.



Deeply meaningful numerology or just a bunch of twelves?

PickleWeasel and I would like to wish you all the best for the holidays, the new year and just stuff in general. We love you so mucho. 


January 19, 2012

I love you MORE than coffee.

At night, when I tuck the 11 year old boy into his bed, he pulls me close and whispers, "Mom, how much do you love me...?"

And I say:



And here's the mug to prove it.

Get it NOW, for the one you love!

Love someone more than beer? I gots more love mugs in my Zazzle Shop.


January 6, 2012

Best Christmas present EVAR.

Guess what I got for Christmas!


I can't wait to see what you guys come up with.

What was your fave present?

December 24, 2011

GREEN Christmas - Top 10 Funniest.

1. Grinch it. Bully a small dog into helping you steal Christmas only to give it back at the last minute. Sounds fun right?  You don't hafta wear pants and your heart will grow three sizes.


2. Envy. Simply covet thy neighbour's gifts!


3. Greenback. Buy a winning lottery ticket, for a change.


4. Zombie.  That dude you kissed under the mistletoe is now gnawing on your shoulder.


5. Nausea. Too much rich food will make you green around the gills.


6. Practical Presents. Wine probably fits into this category. It's not exactly environmental, but hey, it's wine. As The Huz says, "wouldn't you rather give your money to a family run vineyard than a big pharmaceutical company?"


7. Orion Slave Girls. They make a nice holiday treat....if you're into alien sex. Uh, I mean sects.


8. Last Minute Green Gift. You get a surprise visit from Aunt Mildred, and she's got gifts for the whole family. But you have no gift for her! Uh-oh....better sneak into the bathroom with your laptop and get her a Kiva Gift Card to loan $25 to third world entrepreneur.


9. Noob it. Enjoy the green sensation of learning something new.


10. Make-up! Get your fabulous friends to paint you green and take pictures.

Got any more?

Kathy Slamen Photography, Body painting  Alex Hansen, Hair & make-up Naita Ratycz, jewelry and hair accessory by Serafina, vintage gown courtesy private collection of Nancy Marrelli.

December 14, 2011

The Grinch's Missing INCH.

Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed something wrong with this dude?


I double dog dare you guys to leave the lyrics to the Mr. Grinch song in the comments. I'll start you off:

"You're a mean one, Mister Grinch..."

December 8, 2011

Get Your Daily MOJO with the Pickle Weasel CALENDAR.

Got a friend who's down in the dumps? Someone who needs a little extra lift in their life? Mid-life crisis got yer mojo? The Pickle Weasel Calendar is a farking celebration of mojo! This is an excellent choice for a Christmas gift for anybody.


Pickle Weasel has totally hijacked a bunch of my blog posts and pickleweasel-ed them.*


*Notice how I totally blame him? And this is just a small slice of the drawing.

Pretty great right? You can get the regular calendar, or you can get the ENHANCED one with QR Code fun boosters (special order, so just ask in the comments below). Every month has a little QR code on the drawing which when scanned, will take you to the funny blog post. For example:


Don't know how QR codes work? Click here for my tutorial. See? I thought of everything! Irresistible, right? You're welcome.

Note: Buy it HERE. I'll make $5.07 on every medium sized calendar. It's not a lot, but it'll help pay for the toilet paper around here. Support your local bloggy cartoonist!

If you love Pickle Weasel, lemme hear ya say "MOJO!"


December 23, 2010

The SnowFLAKE & The FAKE Santa.

And now for the fourth and final Christmas toon. Drumroll please...!

About ten years ago, my 95 year old grandmother gave us this wind-up Santa Claus toy. She dug it out of some church basement somewhere and she was most likely convinced it would entertain and delight the multitudes.

She was wrong. Until now.



Yes, until now, this Santa has made me want to Crush, Kill and Destroy. Annihilate. Exterminate. Obliterate. Reduce to Rubble. But I showed restraint and I'm kinda glad I did. Because the Santa toy now stars alongside my little SnowFLAKE. I am all powerful.

Disclaimer:
The Santa in this video is a fake Santa. No real Santa's were harmed during the making of this video. No elves were harmed either. Or reindeer.

I did stay up all night finishing it though...


I made this for you, and I made it with love. I want nothing in return.
All good wishes from the now very sleepy JC. Don't wake me up until Boxing Day.

There's three more!
The SnowFLAKE & The Carrot  
The SnowFLAKE & The Chimney  
The SnowFLAKE & The Christmas Tree.  

Share! 

December 20, 2010

The SnowFLAKE & The Christmas Tree.

This Christmas series is fun for all ages heh heh.

Sometimes I get waaaay too busy with work (you know, animation for MONEY instead of bloggy LOVE) and I just don't have time for my characters. They come knocking at my door, wanting me to animate them, wondering why I've been ignoring them...making me feel guilty with the big, sad eyes. Yeesh.



*Sigh*...I guess my SnowFLAKE can take care of her self....*sob* ...so who needs me...?


There's three more!
The SnowFLAKE & The Carrot.
The SnowFLAKE & The Chimney.
The SnowFLAKE & The Fake Santa.

Share!

December 16, 2010

The SnowFLAKE & The Chimney.

Here's some more Christmas funny. I get a big kick out of making my kids laugh with my animation. Maybe it's cuz they're my kids, but it's not so easy to get a belly laugh and they never fake it just to be nice.



My thirteen year old daughter is especially tough. If I can make her laugh? It's a WIN.

She never saw the surprise ending coming. How do you make your kids laugh?

There's three more!
The SnowFLAKE & The Carrot.
The SnowFLAKE & The Christmas Tree.
The SnowFLAKE & The FAKE Santa.

Share!