The Optimistic Crocus.

Just when you thought winter was going to last forever...

April Fools!

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JC's Top 12 Winter Safety Tips!

Hi guys!

I noticed that some of you are getting snow and ice and freezing your butts off. Now that the novelty has worn off, you're probably really hating it. I bet you're wondering how we manage up here in Canada!

Welp. I want you to be safe and warm, so I put together a handy list of Winter Tips for you. I am nice.

1. If your kids are playing in the snow, check them often. Sometimes kids get stuck while burrowing in a snow fort. Danger!


2. Snow can be heavy, particularly if it has been ploughed into a pile. It's dangerous to burrow, because it might collapse on top of you, especially if children are playing on top.


3. If your car has been snowed in, clear the exhaust before you turn it on. Or the exhaust may back up into your car interior. The results can be deadly.


4. If you have to shovel snow, take it easy. The weight of snow can hurt your back and I've heard of people who have done a lot of digging sometimes have a heart episode the next day because of over straining. Shoveling snow can be strenuous exercise. Check this video out.


5. If you're walking down the street you should pay attention to icicles forming along the edges of roofs. Icicles have been known to fall onto the sidewalk below - a friend of mine was struck by one. It gave her some new ideas but she was not happy.


6. Ice storms can produce beautiful formations on trees and it's tempting to photograph them. But they can be heavy! Trees do shed heavy boughs covered in ice so please take care.


7. Driving: DO NOT use your car as a "coat". If you get stuck in the snow and have to walk to safety without a real coat, you'll be intensely cold. Also, keep a few blankets in your car....and a bucket. You never know.


8. Roads might not seem slippery, but ice can be invisible and patchy. This is known as "black ice" and it's a killer. Black ice and speed do not mix well. Brakes do not work on a slippery road. If you have to drive, you should reduce your speed. See Transport Canada for valuable winter driving safety tips.


9. Regular or "all season" tires can be pretty useless in snowy conditions. Especially true if the roads are neither cleared nor salted/sanded/graveled. Snow tires are essential for getting up and down hills. It's no fun at all to be that person spinning your wheels on a hill and going nowhere. The people behind you will honk at you.


10. We have these great things that I call "Crocodile Teeth", (which is a way better name than "folding steel traction aid", duh). If your car gets stuck, you put them under your wheel and the sharp teeth grip down into the surface so that your wheel can roll across the top. Totally great! But read the directions carefully: using these the wrong way can cause them to fling up into the air when the wheel spins. It can hit someone and really hurt them. And believe me, the last thing you want is to have to go to the ER when you're stuck in the snow.


11. Temperatures below -10°C can be dangerous if you're not dressed properly. In Montreal in can go down well below -24. This is seriously cold. Thermal underlayers are great for keeping warm and snow pants will keep you warmer too. You definitely need good mittens and warm, dry boots. Everything waterproof! Hats that cover your ears are best and a scarf to cover your face. I always tell my kids, "your nose doesn't grow back". Frostbite, frostnip and chilblains can happen! Read this.


12. Don't eat yellow snow.

BE CAREFUL. Have fun. Build a snowman. And repeat after me:

"Fuck is it cold!"

You're practically Canadian now.

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Spring. And dogs.

Ah yes! Spring in Montreal! The long hard winter is over and the snow melt reveals some pretty amazing gems.

I say “gems” but I really mean (dare I say it) ...dog poop. Let's stick with "gems" shall we?

Usually I pick up after the dog soon after she goes out in the garden. But when the temperature drops, the idea of venturing out into sub-zero Canadian winter in my pajamas is less than appealing. So as the dog lays her eggs, I let the snow fall and cover it.

I warn the kids of the dangers of building a snowman. I wait patiently until spring. I look out the window and admire the pure, white, freshly fallen blanket of snow masking the evil that lurks beneath.

The spring thaw yields layer upon layer of treasure. It resembles an archaeological dig: the snow melts enough to expose a few sparkling jewels at a time and I remove each layer over a period of weeks.

It’s normally hard going because the gems are cold and soggy; some even need to be dug out of the ice with a trowel.

An emphatically unglamorous activity.

This year however, I decided to refrain until all the snow melted. I waited for a dry day (today). Armed with my usual protective gear...

...and a zillion plastic bags... I went out to face what would surely be a bumper crop.

To my surprize, there were only half as many and the ones I found were half-sized hard little nuggets. Also, being dry, they didn’t smell.

Why, in twenty years of living with dogs, am I only just now discovering this?

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FARK is it COLD.

A picture tells a thousand words, people.

How cold is it where you are?
Please comment like this: "Hi JC! I'm so cold, ____________________(fill in the blank). "

My new friend @Clutteredbrain made me do this.
Oh....and I think I'm supposed to do this too --> Household 6 Diva. Do I get my tiara now?

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The SnowFLAKE & The FAKE Santa.

And now for the fourth and final Christmas toon. Drumroll please...!

About ten years ago, my 95 year old grandmother gave us this wind-up Santa Claus toy. She dug it out of some church basement somewhere and she was most likely convinced it would entertain and delight the multitudes.

She was wrong. Until now.



Yes, until now, this Santa has made me want to Crush, Kill and Destroy. Annihilate. Exterminate. Obliterate. Reduce to Rubble. But I showed restraint and I'm kinda glad I did. Because the Santa toy now stars alongside my little SnowFLAKE. I am all powerful.

Disclaimer:
The Santa in this video is a fake Santa. No real Santa's were harmed during the making of this video. No elves were harmed either. Or reindeer.

I did stay up all night finishing it though...

I made this for you, and I made it with love. I want nothing in return.
All good wishes from the now very sleepy JC. Don't wake me up until Boxing Day.

There's three more!
The SnowFLAKE & The Carrot  
The SnowFLAKE & The Chimney  
The SnowFLAKE & The Christmas Tree.  

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The SnowFLAKE & The Christmas Tree.

This Christmas series is fun for all ages heh heh.

Sometimes I get waaaay too busy with work (you know, animation for MONEY instead of bloggy LOVE) and I just don't have time for my characters. They come knocking at my door, wanting me to animate them, wondering why I've been ignoring them...making me feel guilty with the big, sad eyes. Yeesh.



*Sigh*...I guess my SnowFLAKE can take care of her self....*sob* ...so who needs me...?

There's three more!
The SnowFLAKE & The Carrot.
The SnowFLAKE & The Chimney.
The SnowFLAKE & The Fake Santa.

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The SnowFLAKE & The Chimney.

Here's some more Christmas funny. I get a big kick out of making my kids laugh with my animation. Maybe it's cuz they're my kids, but it's not so easy to get a belly laugh and they never fake it just to be nice.



My thirteen year old daughter is especially tough. If I can make her laugh? It's a WIN.

She never saw the surprise ending coming. How do you make your kids laugh?

There's three more!
The SnowFLAKE & The Carrot.
The SnowFLAKE & The Christmas Tree.
The SnowFLAKE & The FAKE Santa.

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The SnowFLAKE & The Carrot.

Say Hi to my cute little SnowFLAKE.

She's stars in my series of animated Season's Greetings. Every year, I make her do silly things. I love animation because I can dream up a character and give it personality.

To me, the SnowFLAKE is like... a real person. 



When I was a kid, I was smitten by The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. What are your favourite animated Christmas specials?

There's three more!
The SnowFLAKE & The Chimney.
The SnowFLAKE & The Christmas Tree.
The SnowFLAKE & The FAKE Santa.

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