April 27, 2012

Parenting TEENAGERS.

Parenting teenagers is hard. But I was lucky; just before our eldest hit puberty, my friend Shelagh gave me some advice. "They can be horrible," she said, "but don't take any of it personally". This has helped me weather what I thought were some pretty difficult times with our first daughter.

However our second daughter didn't just hit puberty - she beat the living crap out of it, knocked it unconscious, and dragged it into her teen-cave. She owned it. Last week was especially, er... eventful, and The Huz and I were close to cracking. Another friend, Sarah, recommended this book: "Get Out Of My Life, but first could you drive me and Cheryl to the mall?", by Anthony E. Wolf, Ph. D.

 I began to read...

Somewhere in the deep, dark, and dangerous recesses of her teen-cave, the 15 year old girl knows that we love and care for her enough to cry ourselves to sleep. And even buy a book.

And to her baby self, this is AWESOME.

I think that we're gonna make it. It's not easy; we must let our teens go and simultaneously set boundaries for them. However unpleasant, it is probably normal for them to behave badly, call us names and refuse to listen. We stay strong and do our best to follow Shelagh's advice. For as much as our teens complain about the boundaries, they do kind of appreciate them. Even if it only indicates that we love and care.

Oh and the book is great.

Parenting teens nightmares? Please share!