Ball.

I told my son this story. But it doesn't have an ending yet, so I decided to draw it into a little series. Let's see how it plays out...

Once I had a ball. Not everyone has a ball, you know. I knew I was lucky to have it.

I had my ball and I was happy.

Even when I was sad or when bad things happened, I could always play with my ball and I would feel better.

My ball made me strong, and funny, and smart.

I loved my ball so much.

But then one day, a Terrible Thing happened:

I lost my ball.


To be continued...

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The dumbing-down of Politics.

When Kevin Drew of Broken Social Scene said of Rob Ford as Mayor of Toronto, "It's like there's a giant baby running the city," this picture popped into my head.

Babies are cute...but they shouldn't be running cities. 

Don't not vote, ever. 

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Night OWL.

Gah.

Who else is up?

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Rob Ford, Mayor of Toronto, is....The BLACK KNIGHT.

WARNING: Political cartooning. Also... body parts.

Craziness in Canada, people! Embattled Mayor Rob Ford of Toronto has some kinda pit-bull-determination-strategy for dealing with any and all allegations. The recent hemorrhage of staff from Toronto City Hall (6 people in a week) and the Mayor's subsequent insistence that "everything's going fine" reminded me of The Black Knight from Monty Python's Holy Grail.

Bombarded with questions from the media, all Ford had to say was, "Anything else? Anything else? Anything else?" If this catchphrase ain't meme-worthy I don't know what is.

With the alleged crack cocaine scandals, Rob Ford is enjoying the kind of publicity most people would pay an arm and a leg for (see what I did there). His shit is covered all over the world! I don't really care one way or another if the allegations are true or not. The story has me hooked and here's why:

It's the unresolved tension. I love a good mystery. And I hope he never spills the beans about what really happened.

The man really seems to get a kick out of helping people, but let's face it, he sucks at governing. He and his brother are always proclaiming what a great job they're doing, saving the taxpayers money and all kinds of crap that's been proven to be false. It was a mess over in Toronto even before the latest scandal.

Here's an idea: Rob Ford should quit politics. I mean, he seems to be enjoying all this attention...and I rather think he'll miss it when it's gone. So I think he should use his charisma and all this media attention to become The Most Amazing Philanthropist the world has ever known. With his personality and propensity to say whatever pops into his head, he's a shoe-in for regular appearances on every talk show out there.

And think of all the good he'd do if he didn't have to be slimey! As long as he never publicly announces his side of the story, keep that unresolved tension locked up tight, and the good people of Earth will eat out of his hand forever.

But this will only happen if / when he leaves politics.

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The Doug and Rob Ford Caption Contest.

WARNING: political tooning.

Resistance was futile; I finally caved and drew Rob Ford, embattled Mayor of Toronto. Of course you can't really draw Rob without his older brother City Councillor Doug Ford.

I do not like the feeling I get when I listen to what this man says about ....well, anything really. The way Doug Ford talks makes me feel intensely uncomfortable; I don't trust him. One gets the idea that he's the one pushing his blurt-happy little brother along and pulling the strings behind the "Ford Nation" ideology. And watch out Canada, Doug Ford has his sights set on the Ontario Premiereship. If what Prime Minister Harper says about the municipal/provincial/national hat trick in this video is anything to go by, I may start to secretly hope Quebec separates because it'll actually be more Canadian here than anywhere.

Anyways, the Rob Ford story has morphed from a crack to a crevasse to a yawning canyon. With stalagmites and pointy shit. And being a Canadian, I can't escape it. Allegations aside, what interests me mainly is the behaviour of these two men, and the people reacting to them, for and against. I find it all at once compelling, hilarious and terrifying.

But never mind all that! Here's a caption contest for you!

Simply leave your entry in the comments below - it can be a single caption, or a couple of speech bubbles between Dougie and Robbie. Have fun. You can enter as many times as you like: just be sure to leave your Twitter handle or email so I can contact you if you win.

How you win - I'll choose the funniest one, that's all there is to it. My decision will be final.
What you win - your choice of either mug or t-shirt with the above design on it.
When you win - contest closes Wednesday, May 29th 2013 at midnight. I'll announce the winner on Thursday between 9 and 10 PM.

Remember the Ultimate Goal here is to have a laugh (yes, at the expense of the Brothers Ford, but that's what you get when you're an insane public official) so please hit the share button.

UPDATE: May 30, 2013 Contest Winner Announced!

We have a winner! Congratulations @IamSauerkraut from Twitter!

Sauerkraut, please let me know if you want t mug or a t-shirt with this fabulous one-of-a-kind artwork and hilarious caption. Thanks to everyone for entering; you are lovely.

And remember folks: if you're lucky enough to live in a democratic society, don't piss it away by not bothering to vote in your next election. Because ROB FORD.

'Nuff said.

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