#BlogHer13 - TOONswag Adventures...day 1

I am Canadian (sorry). You guys know the last time I tried to go to the States I was turned away at the border for not having a work permit? That's right folks: you need a work permit to do public speaking in the USA, if you're getting paid. Who knew? I sure as hell didn't (it was my first paid gig) and most certainly neither did the company that hired me. Surprize.

Quite apart from all the speaker-prep work I wasn't going to get paid for, I'm very sensitive and easily intimidated by people in uniforms fingerprinting me, so to say I was traumatized is an understatement. I was crushed.

And therefore extremely apprehensive about getting to BlogHer. I was about to cancel and sell my ticket. And then I found out that I won the VOTY Award. But more about that later.

As it happens, I got on the plane to Chicago with no trouble whatsoever. As soon as the nice man with the American flag on his pocket gave me back my passport, the anxiety I'd been carrying since May melted away. I felt a great weight lift from my soul...

Closure is a wonderful thing, if you can get it.

This year I booked an extra day at the head of the BlogHer 2013 conference (I am smart). It was worth the extra hotel fees just to be relaxed and rested. Tracy Beckerman, syndicated humor columnist, author, friend and wielder of gold lamé thongs had invited some friends to dinner to celebrate the support she felt for her very funny book Lost In Suburbia. Gracious lady! Terrific way to kick off the conference with friends, most of whom I'd already met.

I wasted no time in toonswagging the very first person who whispered the secret password in my ear:

"I have blue-footed boobies!"

It was none other than Anne Parris, the blogger behind Not a Supermom and founding member of Generation Fabulous. She scooted into the booth across from me and I whipped out my iPad and began scribbling.

FYI Anne was on a panel at BlogHer discussing MidLife Bloggers. Did you know that women over 45 are reppin' the fastest growing slice of blogdom? I'm in there somewhere. I KNOW YOU'RE SURPRIZED, RIGHT?

Finished the toon just in time for my sushi. They had uni! Very few restaurants have it cuz it's got to be fresh.

What's uni? It's raw sea urchin and it's my favourite.

Back at the Sheraton's Chi Bar, I had to draw Nicole Morgan, blogger at Sisters From Another Mister. She and I have been innerwebbing for three years and finally met.

Man, she's gorgeous! Also she's got some great beauty tips which I'm hoping she'll vlog. Her voice and accent are silky. Hint...clunk.

Dear friends from conferences past hugged me tight. Then I hit the pillow. Hard.

Way more toonswag coming soon...maybe even tomorrow.

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You Shall NOT Pass.

This was me last week.

I was on my way to deliver a keynote in the USA; to make a few hundred really nice people laugh, smile and hopefully leave them inspired by my drawings and my message.

But I never made it...

Have  you ever wanted something very, very much, and just when it's within your grasp it slips away?

You're allowed to grieve for a bit. And then you move on.

The silver lining: The thing I thought I wanted wasn't the thing I actually wanted. I already have that thing and it's right here inside me.

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The Tenth Floor TURD.

WARNING: Not for those who are easily flushturd.

This didn't actually happen. Well, okay, it did happen but not exactly.

Me and my friend Robin (known as #TheRobin on Twitter cuz she has yet to exist there) went to BlissDom Canada this weekend. We trained it from Montreal, and headed straight to the Sheraton Centre, located "in the vibrant core of downtown Toronto". Needless to say the long train ride had resulted in an urgent need to use the toilet for Number 1. Which we did as soon as we got checked into our hotel room.

But instead of flushing, the toilet did that horrifying thing with the water rising up threateningly to the brim of the toilet bowl...and then just staying there. Uh-oh!

The Robin called the front desk, and some poor unsuspecting maintenance man came up from house-keeping. He just stood there and stared at the toilet bowl. I was standing next to him thinking, wow, this is really embarrassing! But I love embarrassment, it's like, one of my favorite emotions.

Some of my best stories come from my ability to embrace embarrassment.

So the maintenance dude and I are staring silently at the toilet, full to the brim with pale yellow water. And a token bit of toilet paper floating sexily on top. Naturally it also smelled faintly of female pee.

Eventually he looks at me and says, "If I flush it, will it overflow?"

Seriously? How should I know? I shrugged and smiled. Anything could happen and I was hopeful.

He wisely decided not to try flushing it. Off he goes to get a plunger, tarum, tarum, tarum. And he unplugs the toilet. And later that same day it blocked up again. So he came back and unblocked it again.

Lucky for him, it was only ever Number 1. But that didn't stop me and The Robin imagining what it would be like if it was Number 2.

The Robin came up with the title for this blog post. You guys can thank her for that. And the Sheraton gets top marks for prompt toilet unblocking services.

Embarrassment might be one of my Super Powers.

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The Morris House Hotel.

My mom came over with her travel book , opened it up and pointed to a photograph of a picturesque garden restaurant.

“This is where we should stay in Philadelphia,” she said.

And so we did. Built in 1787, The Morris House is the ultimate heritage boutique hotel, an oasis of colonial charm a few blocks from ye olde Liberty Bell. It’s seriously cute!

The first morning we sat having our coffee in the hotel's Salon and this Napoleonesque style painting was winking down at me from above the mantelpiece and practically flirting. I peered at it closely.

Something about the face didn’t look quite as “period” in its execution and my thoughts were just lingering on that. Yeah, there was something about it…

“Good morning ladies!” I turned to see a dashing gentleman in blazer and ascot. It’s possible I imagined the ascot. Probably.

This dude is smiling and friendly and has something of a playboy twinkle, walking through the rooms all debonair and asking us how we like the place. 

Shannon, the Innkeeper, comes into the room from the reception and introduces him. “This is Michael DiPaolo, one of the owners of the Morris House.” Then she points to the mantel and says, “that’s him in the painting”.

It totally was!
Hoteliers with a sense of humour? I was most intrigued.

Michael Dipaolo was joined by another dapper dude, the other owner Eugene Lefevre - they chatted with my mom about the restaurant in the Hotel, Restaurant M, the menu, the plating, the service…the wine. The soft shell crab. My mom was loving it.

How many hoteliers do you get to do this with?

Over the course of our stay I decided I really wanted to draw these guys. So I told Shannon I was a blogger and asked if they’d mind being tooned.

And I gave her my card. And she read my blog, pinworms and all.

Must’ve been ok though cuz she arranged for both the owners to sit down with us on our last day, and they agreed to let me interview them.

Eugene Lefevre and Michael Dipaolo are architects, they started their business together restoring heritage buildings. Audaciously they once put a 10K deposit on a 10 million deal to buy Lits Bros. Department store built in 1891, saving it from the impending Wrecking Ball of Doom. It’s now the Mellon Independence Center and you might say that was their flagship project together. These guys are real estate developers who actually care for the history of the city's buildings.

The pair bought the Morris House in 2000, and with a lot of TLC and attention to colonial detail, they turned it into the boutique hotel it is today. Turns out Michael’s not the only one to have been painted – Eugene told me that he was the first one to hang his portrait in the Morris House as they restored it. Their friend Bill Whiting had portrayed him as an English country Squire” and Eugene hung the portrait above the mantel at the front entrance.

I didn't get a very good photo of it so I just tooned it. The actual painting is truly lovely.

Eugene said that when Michael saw it, he wanted one too. Bill Whiting apparently just told him to bring a frame and said that he’d “fill it”. So Michael showed up with a honking big frame and claimed the mantel in the main sitting room.

The Rogues Gallery doesn’t stop there – several friends have had their portraits done by Whiting (including Gene's wife Deborah!), and these hang throughout the main floor rooms. Which totally makes me feel at home, cuz that’s what I do: surround myself with I DRAW YOU’s and TOONswag.

I'm not a travel blogger but I will tell you this: the place is amazeballs - it's full of stories! But best of all, the nice people at Restaurant M gave me a beautiful glass of Chardonnay when I got back from the Philly meetup. They let me take it up to our room.

Luxury.

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Dogs.

This is a poem about dogs.

I love dogs.

I drew this on the plane, with Paper for the iPad.

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England - Cloudy with a CHANCE of showers.

Here we are in England land! Normally we stay with my MIL down in Cornwall, but this time we're here for a funeral so we're staying in a hotel near Ascot (horse races, big hats). This hotel was built in the 1940's and the plumbing is, er...interesting.

Yes indeedy, I have been confronted with some difficult decisions during our stay - to shower or not? I decided to take my chances.

I never did get to rinse the shampoo out of my hair.

The shower experience is a little random for sure, but hey, at least I'm clean!

I drew this one using Paper, on my iPad.

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BED Sweet BED.

This is the awesome conclusion to the Bed's Too Big series.

Going away is cool and all, but it's definitely great to be home. Just don't mention the word "tiles" yet...

Share this stuff.

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BOOGIE Boarding is FUN.

I'm in Cornwall UK for a family vacation. There's a healthy surf culture here - I can sorta surf a lil' bit (not really). However I do love boogie boarding; it's easy and fun. So here's a vlog music thingie about it.

But first, a disclaimer: I AM NOT A PHOTOSHOPPED SUPER MODEL. Do not expect pore-less perfection and fountains of youth from me. And try not to look at my bum. Oh, alright, if you really must, go on then.



It was yet another freezing farking day at Godrevy Beach. Like 14°C / 57ºF. Once you're in the water you're fine, provided you're wearing your wetsuit and frolicking non-stop in the surf like a baby seal. The waves weren't particularly huge today but it was still cool. Cold. I love having blue lips.

That's me singing. And I bought the earrings from @tweetgraciemack.

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The JETLAG Monster.

When I travel against the clock, I suffer so bad. The JETLAG Monster nibbles on my soul and I walk around in a stupor.  I can't focus, and there's some kinda sand in my eyeballs. This is worse than The Sleepies because actual sleep won't help.

Three days pass. Then suddenly the stupor lifts and I think, "Yay! I'm over it...!"

Wrong.

Some say you should fight the urge to crash out, stay awake as long as you can and then sleep at night. But when I tried that, not only did I babble incoherently throughout the entire day, I was still wide awake at 1 AM.

What are your fool proof cures for jetlag?

Help.

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