August 27, 2012



That blood curdling scream was mine.

To celebrate the last gasp of summer me and my friend Robin like to take our 12 year old boys to Laronde, our local thrill ride park. I love roller coasters and it feels kinda good to have my vertebrae re-aligned. This year we dragged our somewhat reluctant husbands along for the day.

The Huz had never been on modern thrill rides (he's from the olde country, or at least that's what he claims). I told him not to be afraid, but definitely to scream. The reason that you hafta scream on the roller coaster is mostly to keep your lunch down. It tightens up the abdominals and locks the contents in place.

And scream we did! After five rides I felt like Steven Tyler with strep throat; I was all screamed out. The next ride we lined up for was The Vampire - aptly named since it will suck the life right out of you. My voice was gone...but the ride is only like 40 seconds long. How bad could it be? I decided to try not screaming.

It turned out to be the longest 40 seconds of my life. When it finally finished...

...I could not keep it together; I could barely walk and I'm pretty sure my brain was no longer attached to the inside of my skull.

I spent the rest of the day making up fake ride names to console myself:
  1. The Stupefier
  2. The ZOMBIE (<<< The Huz made this one up)
  3. The Lobotomizer
  4. The Face Flattener
  5. The Grey AntiMatter-er
  6. The Slack-Jaw DROP
  7. The Permanent Wave
  8. The Seat Soaker
  9. The Take Me Away Calgoner
  10. The Oh-Em-GEE Force
  11. The Mop
  12. The Ferris Bueller Wheel
  13. The Stretcher
  14. The Ride That Shall Not Be Named
  15. The Dematerializer
  16. The Particle Accelerator
  17. The Defibrillator
    and my personal fave, submitted by The Huz,
  18. The Munch.

Don't forget to scream! And please do add to the list.