SCREAM.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAiiiiGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!"

That blood curdling scream was mine.

To celebrate the last gasp of summer me and my friend Robin like to take our 12 year old boys to Laronde, our local thrill ride park. I love roller coasters and it feels kinda good to have my vertebrae re-aligned. This year we dragged our somewhat reluctant husbands along for the day.

The Huz had never been on modern thrill rides (he's from the olde country, or at least that's what he claims). I told him not to be afraid, but definitely to scream. The reason that you hafta scream on the roller coaster is mostly to keep your lunch down. It tightens up the abdominals and locks the contents in place.

And scream we did! After five rides I felt like Steven Tyler with strep throat; I was all screamed out. The next ride we lined up for was The Vampire - aptly named since it will suck the life right out of you. My voice was gone...but the ride is only like 40 seconds long. How bad could it be? I decided to try not screaming.

It turned out to be the longest 40 seconds of my life. When it finally finished...

...I could not keep it together; I could barely walk and I'm pretty sure my brain was no longer attached to the inside of my skull.

I spent the rest of the day making up fake ride names to console myself:

1. The Stupefier
2. The ZOMBIE (<<< The Huz made this one up)
3. The Lobotomizer
4. The Face Flattener
5. The Grey AntiMatter-er
6. The Slack-Jaw DROP
7. The Permanent Wave
8. The Seat Soaker
9. The Take Me Away Calgoner
10. The Oh-Em-GEE Force
11. The Mop
12. The Ferris Bueller Wheel
13. The Stretcher
14. The Ride That Shall Not Be Named
15. The Dematerializer
16. The Particle Accelerator
17. The Defibrillator
    and my personal fave, submitted by The Huz,
18. The Munch.

Don't forget to scream! And please do add to the list.

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THRILL Rides.

My friend Robin and I took our boys to the Montreal amusement park, La Ronde. Her son had made a fabulous recovery from appendicitis thanks to my PICKLEWeasel Bandaid, and had just been given the Doctor's all clear to celebrate by being hurtled through space on a number of death-defying thrill rides. Factor in the junk food and this place is paradise for an eleven year old.

Everyone knows that if you don't want to lose your lunch on a ride, the best thing to do is to scream non-stop. My screaming muscles were in tip-top condition. I was ready!

The first really scary one we went on was called The Vampire, aptly named as it will suck the life right out of you.

Robin sat this one out. I swear I could not figure out where the ride began and ended, it really looked like a bunch of spaghetti to me. Which is pretty much how I felt when I got off it.

We decided to recover on the kiddie ride that looked like it was made of Swiss Cheese.

Then the boys managed to convince us to go on The GOLIATH. Even Robin decided to join us. This rollercoaster is huge! I mean it covers a lot of distance. No way could I fit it all on one drawing.

They start you off by slowly cranking you up a 175 foot incline and then drop you almost straight down. And up. And down. Etc. Crazy fun I tellya.

Just as you're dropping down that first big drop they take a picture of you - FLASH! - so not only are you terrified but you're also seeing spots everywhere.

Unless you're Robin, in which case your eyes are shut tight pretending you're at the spa.

Afterwards, Robin said my hair was "bigger". I won't need another blowdry for at least a year. We agreed the Goliath was the funnest. But I'm all screamed out!

Most terrifying thrill ride you've ever been on?

Share the thrills.

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