Totally LAME.

Hurrah for Medicare in Canada! Sure, I spent the night sitting in a wheelchair in the ER but hey, I did catch a glimpse of an elderly hospital-gowned gentleman's backside, complete with some very low-hanging fruit. We're talking knee-knockers. We're talking tennis balls in long socks. We're talking Newton's Cradle. So the trip to the ER wasn't a complete washout. Also, I got a diagnosis and treatment plan for my bum hip.

I have a Calcified Hematoma. Which means, when a dog named Buddy comes running at you exhuberantly and jolts your hip in a high speed joy leap, you will limp lightly for a month and then suddenly be unable to walk. Because excruciating pain.

How do I know the dog's name was Buddy? His owner was yelling it over and over. I think she should have shouted louder because he obviously couldn't hear her.

Inkling was good. And along came Buddy.

Meet my new best friend:

Senior walker? Or FREEDOM MACHINE.

At the hospital you get asked what level of pain you have from 1 to 10, 1 being no pain and 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt. I mean, how can they tell how bad it is? My 10 could be someone else's 5. So I said, "I'm holding a steady 7 allatime, shooting 9s and 10s." And they're like TAKE THE MORPHINE GIRL.

I can't take those drugs though because I'm alcoholicle. Instead I opted for anti-inflammatories and acetaminophen. It takes the edge off but leaves me with just enough shooting 8s to make my kids feel sorry for me. And why shouldn't they? My parkour career is in jeopardy.

I'll be laid up for two to three weeks. Usually I'm the Helper, so it's difficult to assume the role of Helpee. I'm learning though. There are ways to ask for help without becoming annoying. For example, this afternoon I had a bath; I have strong arms and low body weight so there was no problem getting myself into the tub. Getting out was impossible. I called out to The Huz, "Hey! Do you want see me naked?"

He answered straight away. "Coming!"

See what I did there.

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Bruise Pride.

What is it about teenagers and their injuries? They show off their bruises like trophies, a testimonial to their survival, thus far, of life's hurlings...

Do not run out of Arnicare gel; especially if you have kids. Or if you're accident-proned.

Arnicare helps bruises heal quickly. So the bruise-pride soon turns into "look how fast this went away" pride.

Lately, The Huz has been wading into MineCraft with the 14 year old boy. Sometimes I can hear them shouting to each other...

"AAAGH! Help! There's zombies!! What do I do??!?"

"TP to me Dad! Teepee to me now!!"

"AAAAAAAGH I'M GOING TO DIE! HELP ME HELP ME HEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEE!!"

"Sorry Dad, I can't help you. You're just going to have to die."

I'm not sure Arnicare works on egos.

Heads up! Boiron Canada and Boiron USA  sponsored the blog-tour for my book, The LAST Snowman, and that was super nice of them. 

What are your "miraculous healing" stories?

PS. The Huz says he's not actually worried about getting eaten by zombies in MineCraft.

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No means NO.

Last week, we got the dreaded phone call from the high school. Our fifteen year old daughter had been in an accident.

Seems she was just on her way to class, when a friend approached her in the hall.

He went to pick her up. She said "No".

But he continued.......and lost his balance.

She landed on her head, twisting her neck. He then fell backwards onto her.

Our daughter said she remembered saying "no" and then finding herself on the floor, unable to stand. She couldn't remember how she got there. We took her straight to hospital. Luckily, she "only" had a mild concussion and a wrenched neck. But she had to miss school and man, was she pissed about that!

It could have been so much worse...

My intention here is not to demonize the friend; he's genuinely sorry. But I'd like to use this story to open up a discussion about boundaries, respect for personal space, and the meaning of the word "no". When a person says "no" why doesn't it matter? No means NO.

Have you had an experience where your personal space was not respected?

I drew this one on the go, in Paper, on my iPad.

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