August 17, 2013

Leaning in with a CLEAR Wish.

I was waiting for my VOTY Award video to be officially posted on the BlogHer site. It was my hope that my live reading of "How To Check For Pinworms" would be so freaking funny that I could use it to propel myself into another realm. And, you know, build on that. I couldn't wait to see it!

But when the videos went live I was crushed to find that most of my performance was replaced by my illustrations. Okay, they're a big part of the story, but who wants to sit and watch a still image with voice-over for four minutes? Big editing faux-pas! You need to cut back to the speaker or it's boring.

Major disappointment!

The questions assaulted me. Why had the editor done this? Did the camera break? Did the footage accidentally get deleted? Was my performance so awful? Perhaps I'd imagined the laughter and applause...?

I couldn't send this link out. Besides my own needs, it failed on entertainment value for my tribe.

I knew I should just reach out to BlogHer and ask them if anything could be done. But I was scared. What if they think I'm ungrateful? What if they think I'm making trouble? What if they think I'm a bitch?

They're probably too busy. They won't remember me. I'm nothing. I hate myself.

I admit that I cried real tears. Man, I felt so sorry for myself. I went through a box of tissues...it was pathetic!

Suddenly Sheryl Sandberg popped into my head.



She gave me the ninja smackdown (in my imagination).



My husband had a friend in London named Basil Saunders (now departed, may he rest in peace) who used to say, "Give me a clear wish." Meaning that one should always state clearly what they want without waffling or hiding. I decided to write to BlogHer and tell them my clear wish. I wrote directly to BlogHer co-founder Elisa Camahort Page. Because if I'm going to lean in like Sheryl Sandberg says I should, I'm going to the top.




And do you know what? They did fix the video - but the voice and image was now noticeably out of synch. Crap! I struggled with my self loathing all over again.

Then it struck me that my whole BlogHer takeaway was one of 'empowerment'. It would be the jugular of irony if I couldn't empower myself to push for this synch error to be fixed. They might roll their eyes, but at the very worst the folks at BlogHer would know that I was a highly professional and totally awesome audio-visual director. Right?

I decided to lean in a little further, and totally blame it on Sheryl Sandberg.



Result!



Thanks Basil. Thanks BlogHer, Elisa, Lori Luna, post production person, the editor ...and Sheryl Sandberg. Please don't beat me up for drawing you beating me up.


23 comments:

  1. So proud of you, you gangsta, you. <3

    I think maybe you should independently narrate some of your favorite posts. THAT would be the shizz.

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  2. That was great JC! It would be great if you could do more like this :)

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  3. I like it when you do the voices

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  4. I loved the performance and I love that you stated your clear wish.

    Empowered and illustrated!

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    1. Thanks green-eyed lady. Next time I state my clear wish I'll try to skip the self loathing part. Such a waste of time.

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  5. You kicked ass. You took names. I'm so impressed with you I could just about pee my pants!

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    1. I surprized myself. And you know what, it wasn't so bad.

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  6. Of all the things I know about you, I'd never call you a pussy. Not now anyway!

    Loved seeing it live and watching it here!

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    1. Thanks Julia. I thought it would be interesting to portray Sheryl Sandberg calling me out for being a 'pussy' because it's a word that is associated with female weakness. I'm actually surprised to find no ripples on that subject here in the comments....yet.

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  7. Great performance - amazing to see it live!

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    1. Hey Delfin, I'm glad you liked it. Now go wash your hands.

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  8. Replies
    1. Ha. I'm leaning so far in I'm hanging upside down.

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  9. Woo hoo! Go you! That is a stellar video, so glad you stated your "clear wish". ~ Bobbi

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  10. Empowerment is good. Receiving a BlogHer13 VOTY award is good. Uploading your in-sync well-balanced clip of your VOTY speech reading your blog post about pinworms is good. The question that comes to mind is, how did you become so knowledgeable about pinworms? Particularly those having taken up residence in bum-holes?

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  11. You did GREAT!!! I loved it!!!

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Cuz You Rocketh.