August 12, 2013

#BlogHer - TOONswag 4.

After the VOTY Awards I did not drink. Much. I crashed early and walked around on a cloud the whole next day. So many people kept walking up to me and saying (mostly) nice things.

It was wonderful...almost like being famous for real! I tried to say thank-you to everyone. And I smiled all day long.

In fact, I found I was smiling so hard I thought my face would split.

Is it possible to smile too much...? I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES.

I went to a BlogHer session led by my friend Tracy Beckerman; she's a successful syndicated humor columnist and was sharing valuable guidance about that side of publishing. Tracy's just got a new book out, called Lost in Suburbia (so freaking funny) - I think she's still lost though, cuz she kept looking at her slides during the session and asking, "where are we?"

Did I mention that the second person to whisper the secret toonswag password was Arnebya Herndon of What Now and Why? ? Only I had The Drunkies at the time so I rain-checked her until Saturday afternoon.

And lo, I discovered her holding down the bed in the Serta display at the Expo because, as she tweeted to me, "...of reasons." I think those "reasons" turned out to be the long line of eager beavers queuing up to spin the Wheel of Ecstasy (or whatever it was called), in the hopes of winning a vibrator at the Trojan booth opposite us. And folks: the Serta bed also vibrates. Oh, yes it does. Because of reasons.

This "good vibes" moment was captured by Deborah Goldstein from Peaches and Coconuts.

Arnebya has elegance and wit to spare; anyone who saw her introducing the OpEd category at the VOTY's couldn't help but be struck by not only her incredible stage presence, but her ultra-dry sense of humor. Give this girl some loob, Trojan!

I actually have some friends from the innerwebs who are not BlogHers, they are UsGuys. Mark BernHardt came down to party with us at the Sheraton Chi Bar; there was Chardonnay, toonswag and a doohicky (← ask Mark about this highly technical term; he'll tellya). Dude's already making good use of his toon on his page.

I bounced up to the BlogHer Fashion Show, screamed my head off at all the sheer majesticness of real women looking awesome and then went to parties. Usually I'm shy at parties unless I know people, but for some reason I was UNshy on this day. Possibly cuz of all the smiling?

Every once in a while you meet someone in The Realzies who is perfectly reppin' their online persona. One such person is Virgina Sanders. Except for one small detail: no way was I ready for how gorgeous she is. Above and beyond superficial skin deep gorgeous, I'm talking rumbling deep down in your soul gorgeous.

Virgina is the Kiss Chronicles blogger famously unkissed until the age of 30, whereupon she auctioned off her first kiss and wrote a book about it. I need to know what happens in the end of the story, i.e. Who did she kiss? Was it a simple dry peck or a sloppy all-tongues-on-deck dribbler? And was there a second kiss??? Find out.

Okay now remember the second night when I got The Drunkies? That ball got rolling when "those who would be drawn" bought me a glass of Chardonnay and by "those" I mean Heather from Stepford Life. Apparently "batteries are not included" with Heather Ann Prast McDonnell, but neither are they needed cuz she's completely energized without them. Actually my iPad died and I recharged it just by waving it at her.

I had so much fun trying to keep up with this woman. Heather gets not one, but two toonswags because she's got an actual cupcake shop called Cupcrazed.
Yes. My love can be bought.

I'm sorry folks' but there you have it. I'm a slut for Chardonnay and cupcakes. But really, can you blame me?

I staggered up to my room, played in my pile of swag and passed out for one last glorious night all by myself in a big, big bed, grinning from ear to ear.

Abbie Gale! Oh Abbie Gale! Please add this to your List of Dumb Ways to Die at BlogHer.

Toonswag PEEPLES. Go draw somebody. Tell them I sent you.