December 17, 2011

The YES-a-holic.

This story originally appeared on Aiming Low. Something recently happened to me which prompted me to re-purpose it here, with a different ending...

*     *     *     *     *

Hi. My name is JC…


… and I’m a YES-a-holic.


It’s not always the word “yes”; other words are involved. Like “sure”.


And “Okay”.


And sometimes it’s just, you know, good old-fashioned submissive posture.


I guess my problem is that I’m unable to say “no”.


I want to please. So I try to do it ALL… which inevitably leads to The Overwhelmption.


When you see an angler fish in the room with you, you know you're in too deep.


But once in a while something comes along, that you simply must say "no" to.


What should I say? I can't go to the shop and buy food with tweets. I can't pay my electric bill with tweets. I can't clothe my kids with tweets.

So I did what any red blooded animator would do.


I fell off my chair.


But I still managed to avoid saying "no". I am a true Yes-a-holic.



It happens more often than you'd think - someone just expects an artist to give up their work in exchange for 'exposure'. In some cases, such as causes, I will draw just for love and fun. But greed and bad behaviour is a big turn off, in real life and social media alike.

What is your take on this?

Here are 9 ways to say NO.

48 comments:

  1. I'm a pirate. It's what I dooo! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ed - Pirates don't say "yes", they say "aye".

    ReplyDelete
  3. About the same as those PR reps that send me "valuable information" for me to post to my blog. Information which my readers would "love." Oh, and I get to keep the high res images they can send me! Woo hoo!

    Just use this video to practice saying No. (And hope that those requests don't include a trip to the playground.) http://vimeo.com/6591554

    ReplyDelete
  4. TechyDad - Ha! That's very cute. But the mom should have name him "Yesah" instead of "Noah". Duh.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You mean you want to be PAID for the WORK YOU do? I've never heard of such a thing!

    ReplyDelete
  6. A little Will Wheaton collating???

    ReplyDelete
  7. Um. Wow. They must not know you're a gangsta.

    ReplyDelete
  8. But it's not really work... You love to do it and it's so easy for you! What does it take to do a drawing? I reckon about 5 or 10 minutes? They're only stick people after all. Am I right?

    And what's more, doing stuff for free is good promotion and that should be your first priority. Devote some real time to it and you could get quite a following!

    ReplyDelete
  9. No is a really easy thing to learn. All you gotta do is think "Hmm...would I rather do this, or sit on my couch doing nothing?" For me, doing nothing always wins because then I'm open to doing fun and interesting things...not weighted down with obligations.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous - IF they're ONLY stick figures that take 5-10 minutes each, why don't you just draw your own? She's even posted a few tutorials on how to draw your own.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Stephi - I don't mind doing free drawings (as you know!) depending on the case. What I do mind is being taken for granted and treated as if I am worthless. Normal, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AMEN!!
      You are too talented to be taken for granted.

      Delete
  12. Mallorie - Yes! Here's the link to the Bloggess' fabulous Will Wheaton Win, for the curious!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Totally normal in my opinion. You do what you want to do for whom you'd like to do it for...once it starts being mandated & expected & requested some boundaries are drawn & then you start charging for the services that you are providing for others.

    ReplyDelete
  14. areyoukiddingme - even though I hate to do nothing, I agree it's a great alternative to being treated badly.

    ReplyDelete
  15. like to say to editors who want to pay me with "exposure" -- exposure is what my family and I will die of when we lose the house because i can't afford to pay my mortgage. Exposure doesn't pay the bills. No to freebies. Yes to artists being paid a fair wage.

    ReplyDelete
  16. JC always remember you are loved (especially from one of your causes) but even if you hadn't helped our Deeds I would still adore you. Don't forget that you and your family come first, and I agree. That is a No, what kind of collaboration is that?

    ReplyDelete
  17. I get that too with my drawings. And I'm a yes addict too. And 'anonymous' is like the little voice in my head...but it must be squashed. It's your time and your time is valuable. And, there is no way you do all that work in 5 minutes.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oh so true. Photographers and writers (heck, anyone who does something *artistic*) get the same approach. I liked this guy's response. http://rising.blackstar.com/a-photo-credit-doesnt-pay-the-rent.html
    I've been asked to write for free (or for a token amount) and to take pictures for free. Only my friends get that. Everyone else can pay for my services. Yup, time to stop saying yes :-)
    Two issues: first, the value of time for an artist. It's just as valuable as it is for my accountant. Because I enjoy doing it doesn't mean I shouldn't be recompensed for my time.
    Second, It's kinda hard -- women are socialized to accommodate. We have to learn to say no to those who are trying to take advantage of us.

    ReplyDelete
  19. You need to add, "Sure, if I have time I will." to your vocab. It is not a "no", and it is not a yes. It allows you put off the decision and gives you an out if you do now want to or have time to do it.

    That being said "ptttthhhhhhhhh" JC drew me!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. An artist friend of mine calls these the "Dance, Monkey, Dance!" requests. She, too, has learned to laugh and say "no".

    ReplyDelete
  21. i so love ya and i agree sometimes you have to say no i am a yes kinda person as well always try to please you rock just so you know
    ang(aka mommyamc)

    ReplyDelete
  22. My current to-do list is literally over a mile long because I can't say no. Now everyone is just going to have to wait an extra long time to receive their knitted what-have-you's. Sigh. Go Team Yes.

    ReplyDelete
  23. If someone tries to take advantage of you, and you don't value your talent, then you'll definitely be taken advantage of! That's hard for yes-people to learn (I'm one of them, too!).

    ReplyDelete
  24. Please tell me you are joking. Someone wanted to pay you in tweets? Sure, cuz that'll pay your light bill and buy those cute boots and allow you to take that awesome sausage vacation.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Tell the cheapskates that your loyal minions repay you in tweets daily just for the pleasure of your your company and ubertalent ... what would you do with more except look like a twitter hog ... and that wouldn't look good on you, even with a fancy punk do ;)

    ReplyDelete
  26. SheWhoMustBeHrd - so tweets are not a fair wage? I didn't think so!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Trigirl - Anonymous is a good devil's advocate. Agree with you that it must be squashed. What is it in human nature that makes us allow others to intimidate us? I wonder.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Your post was hilarious!! I love your pictures!! And I think it's so cool what you do to raise awareness for various things. You're inspirational. So I kind of laughed as hard as your charachter in the pictures did when the "smooth manipulator" made his demands.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Pat - great post over at rising.blackstar. But it's not just artists who are expected to say yes; I've heard from lawyers and accountants too.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Steve - true there are ways of saying no, without offending.

    By the way, for anyone reading this, Steve Cole was doing something nice for me out of the kindness of his heart, and I was secretly drawing him as a gift from his wife. So that exchange was truly giving!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Sarcasm Goddess - I wish I was joking cuz I rather liked the person up until that point.

    ReplyDelete
  32. By Word - Hey, good point about looking like a twitter hog....truly people do get annoyed seeing something over and over and over and over. It's called 'saturation'.

    ReplyDelete
  33. MarsupialMama - I'm glad you laughed too! Cuz something good came out of something bad. Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  34. That is awful that people do that. I wish I could say I was shocked but sadly I am not. Though I do love the way you put it. Even in the end you say yes. It's just yes to the fact you had just said no. :) You are truly an awesome lady.

    ReplyDelete
  35. If you don't do what I say for FREE, I won't love you ANY MORE.

    [but I may start respecting you]

    ReplyDelete
  36. LOL! I can't (well really I can) believe that!!! People are crazy. Very. Your work is awesome and it's one thing to say, "Please draw A (one) picture of me" (which you offer ALL THE TIME) but to ask if you'll do a BOOK... Ummm, no, you should get AT LEAST 5%, if not more, of the royalties. BUT I didn't read all the comments so I'm guessing this has been said before. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  37. Most creative people enjoy the process of creating, but that doesn't make their creation less valuable. Whether or not it qualifies as "work" by someone else's definition is irrelevent. Anyone who EXPECTS you to trade that piece of your essence captured in drawings, words, etc... for tweets or "exposure" is clearly not someone you want in your presence, let alone your business dealings

    ReplyDelete
  38. Amber - it's my therapy, to say yes to the word NO!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Anonymous - That....makes sense. In a weird twisted way. Thanks for stopping by, and here's a {{{HUG}}} just cuz, well, Trolls need love too!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Sarah - would you believe I have even already drawn this person?

    ReplyDelete
  41. Stephanie - a very important distinction! I agree it matters not whether it qualifies as "work" by any definition.

    ReplyDelete
  42. you could always say yes. then draw yourself yelling NO while flipping them off. but seriously the gall (sp?) of some folks, especially those who are like "will you illustrate my book."

    just say no, my friend. loved this.

    ReplyDelete
  43. truth is truth! i have a really hard time when people put me on the spot, too. ugh!

    ReplyDelete
  44. you started following me on twitter so i came over here to see what you r up to....you r funny...i like ...now you've hit rock bottom at the bottom of your pages...and it really got me laughing when i read..."this story originally appeared on ...aiming low" aiming lowwww...too funny love it...thanks for the fun...love @deliverychic

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey @deliverychic, I can't tell you how nice it is when someone takes the time to say hi over here. THANK-YOU. See you on Twitter!

      Delete

Cuz You Rocketh.