December 22, 2011

GANGSTA 101.

Welcome to today's episode of ...


Please welcome my special guest Interviewee, grade 8 school teacher and self proclaimed Smartness...JW Moxie!


JC: JW, hey welcome to the show! Let's start with a skill testing Gangsta question: Do you think that "evolution" should be taught in schools?

JW: I mean, like, yeah. It should totally be like, a subject because Adam and Eve and then dinosaurs - HELLO, DARWIN. Personally I believe that evolution and creationism are both like, important theories and stuff. Like math. I believe that math should be taught in schools, too. Wait - what was the question?

JC: And that answer is correct! One of the things I like about your writing is the Gangsta timing. Timing is a big deal for animators. Do you have any idea what I'm talking about?

JW: Timing? It's always a good time to be a Gangsta. Unless by "timing," you meanthe ability to deliver a punchline or theme statement at the appropriate point of narration to achieve the desired emotional effect.

JC: Uh. You had me at "good time".

JW: I win!

JC: Okay Missus Smartnessypants, keep your panties on. Your fave Gangsta word seems to be "Word". Since you're so knowledged in English, what are your all time favourite made up words?

JW: Good question. wreckadent (n): a wreck that's worse than your standard accident; f*cknuttery (n): something so effed up that it's nutty; ballsome (adj.): having the balls to be awesome;. "That joker cut me off in traffic and almost caused a wreckadent. It was pure f*cknuttery, but because I'm ballsome, I let him off with a stern look instead of flipping him the bird." WORD.

JC: So you're an English teacher as well as a Gangsta, right? Which Great Names from literature (not including The Bloggess) do you think are Gangsta material and why?

JW: Dean Koontz (Just kidding). Gloria Naylor - I love how she subtly weaves her books together with whispered allusions (i.e. The Women of Brewster Place and Bailey's Cafe). Another favorite is Theodore Geisel aka Dr. Seuss.

JC: Dr. Seuss? I've heard of Dr. Seuss!!

JW: Contrary to popular belief he is the OG of rap, not Grandmaster Flash.


JC: Let's pretend you're a Gangsta for reals: you're walking down the street being badass, and when you get to the corner a Buddhist nun stops you and asks you to hold the end of a piece of string for a minute. The nun takes the other end of the string and disappears around the corner with it. You wait. A really. Long. Time. And then finally you decide to cautiously peer around the corner. There, holding the other end of the string and peering back at you is Donald Trump! What do you say to him?

JW: "Trump. Dude, really? Are your hands so busy counting greenbacks that you couldn't hold the string? You had to tie it around your weenie? Playing "pull my finger" wasn't sophomoric enough for you? You're fired. And please, for the love of all that is Gangsta, do something about that combover."

Word.

The "YO! YO" drawing was part of an awesome Christmas mug-swap for the Aiming Low writers. Yes, she's drinking out of it right now, go see.

UPDATE: My mug from JW arrived this afternoon! It is The Ballsome. Are we in sync or whut?


Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.

11 comments:

  1. How is it possible that you took the answers I knew I wrote and made them funnier? See? Brilliant, just like I expected.

    We look good as half-pint gangstas! This is the perfect capstone to my 2011, and definitely a highlight of my whole year.

    xoxo

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  2. JW - Timing, my dear. Timing pure and simple.

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  3. My neighbors are gangstas. They wear their pants around their Luggs and drive cars with ginormous rims. I'm trying to get them to buy pictures of their sick whips from me. No dice so far. Maybe if they didn't need one hand to hold their pants up they could fish some moolah out their pockets. Samples at http://daysoflivingaimlessly.blogspot.com/2011/12/i-have-gangstas-well-gangsta-wannabes.html

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  4. It's the bunny slippers that make the grade here. Arrrr.

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  5. Wreckadent is my new favorite word.
    Or is it f*cknuttery?

    One of those.
    Or both.

    LOVE it, JWM.
    A lot.

    Thanks for the lesson, my lady.
    Word.

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  6. I love you both and I claim total responsibility for teaching JW Moxie the word fucknuttery.

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  7. I am working toward being ballsome all day, every day.

    Love the interview!

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Cuz You Rocketh.