January 17, 2011

LADY of the House.

WARNING: This one's for grownups.

She's funny, she's smart, she's constantly shouting " The Emperor has no clothes!" And you gotta admire her merciless sparring with @WhyisDaddyCryin in a friendly duel of "I Fantasize". She's the Lady of the House @ieatmykidzsnack on Twitter, blogging just as fast as she can on Checking the Electrical Box, and it's her BIRTHDAY.

This started off as an interview and sorta morphed into me and her getting all drunk and stuff.

JC: Okey dokes. We don't know your real name, so let's call you LADY.  And since you're incognito I guess I'll hafta draw you. Here's some cartoon girlies - tell me which one you look most like. You can mix and match btw. After that we can start drinking.


LADY: Like Chaka Khan, I can certainly find a little bit of myself in every woman, including Caillou, because he's a little girl ;) However, since I'm not attached to a polygraph I'm gonna go with Jessica Rabbit's body, Betty Boop's flirtiness, Marge's heart, and Palin's ummmmmmmmmmmm vagina because she HAS to fuck like a champ to have gotten where she is today.

JC: Hah! Ok. I'll draw a picture of you. Just as soon as I retrieve my jaw from the floor. And return to my normal colouring....

JC: Oh wow, I just drew your hair and guess what - you're wearing a bumpit.

LADY: NOOOOOOO! A bumpit????? Please JC don't make me look like a reality famewhore. I'd rather have you draw me with the "Bieber."

LADY: HEY!!
LADY: I do have Marge's love for her family. But I said Marge's heart, not her hair!!!

LADY: NO.

LADY: Bitch stole my wig!

LADY: Wait do I have DORA HAIR????????????????? Please don't give me Dora hair.

JC: Okaaaaay. You are NO fun.

LADY: I AM FUN! I AM FUN! (stomps feet. Shakes fist. Passes out.)


LADY: That's bettah. Now draw my juicy fruit bootay ;)


JC: Ok voilà. Your boobs now enter the room a half-hour before the rest of you.

LADY: Hey that looks just like me!

JC: Here, I ordered us some sake.


LADY: Thanks. You know it's my favorite. Although do you think you can handle me after a few bottles of sake? I used to be a serious party girl and sake is the only alcohol that can still bring her out.

JC: Are you gonna to fall off the chair if you drink too much? Cuz that would be cool.


LADY: Fall off a chair? Lover, I am a LADY. I'm more likely to re-enact that scene from 'Flashdance.' BTW I love that you were a video vixen ;) One year I was a seat filler at the MTV Video Awards and ended up being part of Wu-Tang Clan the entire night. Busta Rhymes put me in a head lock. I was really high. It was one of the strangest nights of my life.


JC: I used to be a wild party girl too. One time I was partying with Motley Crüe, and I woke up the next morning in another city. True story. Um....what's a "video vixen"? I never saw Flashdance and I had to ask my husband who the heck Wu-Tang Clan is. My ignorance continues to fascinate me.

LADY: WHAT IN THE HOLY SHIT??? How did you never see Flashdance? Jennifer Beals? Ripped sweatshirt?

JC: Meh. I live in a bubble. The idea of someone putting you in a headlock is cool though, especially if he's got a name like Busta Rhymes. I'm guessing MTV is big on sake! Hahaha, no one is going to understand what we're talking about.

LADY: Even I don't understand what we're talking about. Did our interview start? This is why I can't drink.

JC: Me too. I should never drink and draw.


JC: Do you believe in ZOMBIES?

LADY: I do not believe in zombies. I prefer vampires because at least they fuck you to death.

JC: Hahahaha! Classic. Vampires fuck and suck.
I was just worried that, there was a ZOMBIE nearby, cuz of that scratching ...and whining.






JC: Now where were we? OK, who was your first "date"?

LADY: I was never a dater. I was either happily single or somehow fell into a relationship. As "ballsy" as I am on twitter I'm actually a very traditional girl.

JC: Well, I admire your twitter "persona". I love how you expose the gritty truth of current events with intelligent, barbed humour.

LADY: Thank you for saying such nice things about me. :) I'm blushing. I find it funny you say my twitter "persona" because I'm kind of the same in life. I love to laugh and have surrounded myself with some of the funniest friends. However, I only really flirt with my hottie husband. I guess I've always been a bit of a snarker. Since becoming a full time mom, twitter & my blog are my connection to that side of myself. So not sure that answered your question. I just do what I do. Can you tell my mom you think I'm funny and smart?

JC: Happy Birthday Lady.

LADY: Thanks lover!

OK guys; what do you want for your birthday?

PS. I was  never a video vixen. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Share!

19 comments:

  1. LMFAO! That's fucking fabulous. Someday when I'm famous or have an Alaskan hoo-ha, I hope someone will draw me--even with Dora hair. Funny shit, Ladies.

    ReplyDelete
  2. HAHAHAHAHHAAAA!!! That was GREAT! Poor Daddy, he just wanted in on the girly fun. LOL!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. full of awesome...love it. although I threw-up in my mouth a little when Lady had Justin Beaver hair. I fantasize Sarah Palin uses the Lady of the House's vagina as a safe-bunker when those pesky reporters get all blood libel on her ass.

    Great interview!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love that after 5 bottles of sake our clothes are still on. Silly JC. That's why @whyisdaddycryin was hanging around.

    ReplyDelete
  5. A whole lot of funny going on here JC. I giggle thinking about you drawing this. And giggling. Loving the curves on the 40 yr. old Lady (which she claims you got totally right, of course!)

    And also? I'm thinking the three of you in one room. BIG BIG trouble!!

    Shanon

    ReplyDelete
  6. You ladies are too funny! I love that @whyisdaddycrying stalks you; he just can't resist such hotties :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. That was awesome. I am still rolling on the floor with laughter. And that makes it really hard to type.

    ReplyDelete
  8. So freaking funny even on the second read. I'm laughing out loud (and maybe even snorting a little), drawing weird glances and even a few "whaaats?!" from the hubs. Great, great stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  9. That's awesome. I love my twitter friends! That damn Daddy. I think he just needed his friend to tell his kids where babies come from. That's why he dropped in! Now that's a scary thought.

    ReplyDelete
  10. ok seriously you rock this im so glad im following you and have the privilege to read your animations thank you
    ang

    ReplyDelete
  11. Awesome! I think i want to be animated too :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. will you both come to my next party???

    ReplyDelete
  13. This was freakin' AMAZING. You owe me a new keyboard, because I spit hot chocolate all over mine reading this. This is one of your best ever.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Will you do my offical portrait when I become Queen of the Universe? I want curves too!

    ReplyDelete
  15. you always bring a smile to my day. keep making me laugh my friend. p.s. read this while having a hot flash ;)

    ReplyDelete

Cuz You Rocketh.