January 3, 2012

9 Ways To Say NO.

Are you tired of being asked expected to work for free? Here are nine ways to say NO.

1. The Demure Negatory. If you throw in a little something shiny, they won't even know what hit them.


2. Shock and Disbelief. Trust me, you won't even need to fake it.


3. Rage. No one will mistake this for a "yes".


4. The Element of Surprise. Catch them off guard with a Cirque move!


5. Run Away Screaming. I tried this last week and it works amazingly well.


6. Over My Dead Body. This one's a little old school, but it's perfect for repeat offenders. Plus you can always throw in the threat of haunting to spice things up.


7. The Jedi Wave. Some folks simply don't get that they should pay for commercial services; they really feel entitled to free drawings and stuff, no matter how you explain it. And they even get kinda mad when you just say no. It's far better to hypnotize them. Help me Obi-Wan Kenobe, you're my only hope.


8. Mirth. Burst out laughing. Especially effective if someone offers to pay you with tweets.


9. If all else fails, Spell It Out. If you view these two drawings in the Lightbox skin, you can animate them and say the word "no" at the same time. TRY IT - just click on the drawing.


I may publish a collection of some of the more absurd emails asking me for free drawings. I'll even pay myself to illustrate it - oh, the irony!

46 comments:

  1. I love the "Spell It Out"! I scrolled up and down between the two drawings, saying it out loud to myself and giggling!

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  2. Christy - Welcome to the wonderful world of animation!

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  3. YES!!! I mean, no! But "yes", as in I <3 this. I need to print this out and frame it. I drew a Star Wars drawing too last week :)

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  4. Oh, wow. The last one my wife does... a lot.

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  5. TriGirl - well come on and post the link to it darlin', we all wanna see it.

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  6. So clever! And, I sense you are getting better at this "NO" thing. Stemming the tides of overwhelmption! Great idea.

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  7. Woman, it's time to toast yourself.
    Just don't spill the wine on the contract you're drawing up, where you agree to provide the illustration for free, but there's a $___/hr surcharge for humoring presumptuous, self-entitled, ignorant......well, choose your own not-so-fine-print. ;-)

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  8. Pretending to be dead works nicely. Of course, in my case it was with a stalker... and she thought I was dead because I IP blocked her... But otherwise it's the exact same thing!

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  9. Rhiannon - Excellent suggestion! And yes, this part of the contract should be in bold, with extensive definitions haha.

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  10. TechyDad - Yeah! I could hang a sign on my door "Unable to render services on account of being a little bit dead"

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  11. Hey, could you do a drawing for me? Nothing big - and you just come up with the idea. Then I can tell you it was not what I had in mind. I'll pay you in...um...oxygen and nitrogen and hydrogen + smog. OK?

    ;)

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  12. I just did your Technique #2 on a project.
    Happy Producer: "So it's a deal, 3 day shoot paid at blabla/day, let's meet on Sunday to sign the contract and at the same time rehearse for the coming 3 days"

    Me using Technique #2: "Contract signing is 5 minutes and free. So in reality, you need a 4th day"

    Unsure Producer: "Uhhh...yes, but we can rehearse right after the contract signing. It's no big deal, you're already at the studio"

    Me using Technique #2: "Rehearsals are work for me. Maybe you want to re-think your budget on hiring me because now you need me for 4 days, ie: 3 day shoot + 1 day rehearsal"

    Unsure Producer: "Really?"

    Me using Technique #2: "Yup, really."

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  13. LOL! Very funny. Like the Jedi Wave. Number 9 is classic, though...

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  14. 'The More You Pay (The More It's Worth)'

    Don't they know that?

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  15. LOL!!! They're ALL great!!! I wonder if I could try one of these the next time housework needs to be done. I mean, no one pays me for it and I'm the ONLY ONE who does it... HUM??? I am a bit sick of doing the dishes...

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  16. It's funny; it's one of the first words we learn as a child; it gives us our first sense of our own power, and then it's trained out of us, leaving us at the mercy of all these numbskulls & users!

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  17. You could create the Book of No. And sell it. For money. (Just an idea. ; )

    Lotsa people struggle to say the N word. So thaNks. : )

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  18. Love, love, love it! I also love that you were able to take your experience and "draw" some humor from it!

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  19. areyoukiddingme - Are you kidding me?

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  20. C-Fe - Geez. How about NO REHEARSAL. Next time try a combo of Techniques #1 and # 3. Flash some cleavage whilst giving him the fireball.

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  21. Fadderly - The Jedi Wave is reserved for the illiterate and such. Number 9 won't work on them.

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  22. D. Mclean - These folks subscribe to the "less I pay, the more I can be a fussy client" deal.

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  23. sarahwinters - For dishes, I recommend you try number 5. That way, if it doesn't work, at least you'll have got some exercise.

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  24. Monsewer Robinet - We've been brainwashed.

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  25. wratwrds - I LIKE THAT IDEA. Know any publishers?

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  26. jenniferhanford - Yep, that's usually how it works around here!

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  27. Haha! I have a hard time saying "No," so I will have to bookmark this.

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  28. oh man - classic! I am so going to use the run away screaming - I can work that one.

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  29. I love the laughing one. It's the one I employ most often.

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  30. I may have to try some of these.

    my usual response tends to be um...(blush)....i dont really....well....oh ok then.

    must do better.

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  31. i usually just reply like this:

    "were you dropped on your head as a kid?" - when the request is absurd

    "do i look like i have money?" - when you ask for money

    and my personal favorite...

    "you've done lost your F*$&in mind!!" - when they've done asked me for something, and i've already asked them if they ate paint chips while growing up.

    but yours are better, not sure if i can do shiny though... i don't have the... umm.. required distraction equipment.

    you rocked it like always :D

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  32. I feel so honored and privileged to have WON one of your drawings. :) Boo Boo La La still wears the T-shirt.

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  33. Of course, you *COULD* always say "Sure, no problem" and do absolutely nothing. This way, they'll think you're unreliable and never ask you for anything again. It works great for me!

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  34. Wait... Someone wanted to pay you in TWEETS? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm a landscaper. The amount of times I've been asked to "just quickly" give some gardening advice. I tried that with legal advice with my lawyer friend and medical procedures with my doctor friend, and strangely, they didn't like it. Apparently our jobs aren't really real.

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  35. Someone seriously offered to pay you in TWEETS?!?!?! WOW.

    These are perfect. Of course! :)

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Cuz You Rocketh.