1. The Demure Negatory. If you throw in a little something shiny, they won't even know what hit them.
2. Shock and Disbelief. Trust me, you won't even need to fake it.
3. Rage. No one will mistake this for a "yes".
4. The Element of Surprise. Catch them off guard with a Cirque move!
5. Run Away Screaming. I tried this last week and it works amazingly well.
6. Over My Dead Body. This one's a little old school, but it's perfect for repeat offenders. Plus you can always throw in the threat of haunting to spice things up.
7. The Jedi Wave. Some folks simply don't get that they should pay for commercial services; they really feel entitled to free drawings and stuff, no matter how you explain it. And they even get kinda mad when you just say no. It's far better to hypnotize them. Help me Obi-Wan Kenobe, you're my only hope.
8. Mirth. Burst out laughing. Especially effective if someone offers to pay you with tweets.
9. If all else fails, Spell It Out. If you view these two drawings in the Lightbox skin, you can animate them and say the word "no" at the same time. TRY IT - just click on the drawing.
I may publish a collection of some of the more absurd emails asking me for free drawings. I'll even pay myself to illustrate it - oh, the irony!