Stop PUPPY Biting NOW.

WARNING: Sharp language.

Puppies have milk teeth, did you know that? Indeed they do: tiny teeth that fall out when their adult teeth come in, around 5 months of age. And they use them for everything - eating, playing, communicating. I knew that! But somehow (in my floof-induced stupor) I'd forgotten just how bad it can get. Those motherfuckers are sharp. I'm talking hypodermic-needle-fangs. I'm talking dragon-slicers, piranha-biters, shark-slashers and alligator-gnashers. Basically I'm totally perforated.

I'm trying to look on the bright side here.

And if you think this is bad, you should see The Huz; he foolishly waved his schnoz back and forth in a tantalizing manner in front of the puppy and basically he can now wear that nose-ring he never wanted.

Yeah, yeah, I can hear some of you saying, "it's your own damn fault, spoiling that puppy." Blame the victim, right? Or, "you need to grab his maw with long-handled tongs and tell him NONONONONOBADPUPPY." Because puppies understand tongs and shouting.

"Just whimper like a puppy when he bites you! It will teach him that biting hurts!" Um, yeah, it worked at first, but since Inkling snagged The Huz on the hooter, the subsequent howling and bloodletting tipped the beast over the edge. Mad dog!

Things have improved somewhat since I discovered my little newf doggie will do anything for tiny bits of cooked chicken, also known as ...puppycrack. He's basically a total slut for the stuff! I carry some around in a little pouch on my belt and give him a morsel every time he doesn't snack on my ankles and fingers. He certainly has me well trained.

It's a good thing he's cute; his survival depends on it.


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Getting a Puppy? Read This.

In the past three weeks I have seen more poop than you can shake a stick at. It's no secret that I have got myself a little Newfoundland puppy boy and YES, he is the uncommonly remarkable source of all the poop. Not only is it (finally) of perfect colour and consistency, this little guy can really churn it out. The food goes in - the poop comes out. Totally magical.

Inkling is my third dog, and my second Newf. But it's been over a decade since I had a puppy around. Knowing I had to get my self, my family and my house ready, I tried to prepare, tried to remember, did a lot of reading. However, nothing can really prepare you for a new baby. And that's what having a puppy is like. It's exactly like having a baby.

Because not only do you have to feed it, and teach it and play with it, you also must care for it when it's sick, and be patient with it when it's wrecking stuff, and it's chewing on your arm with those needle sharp puppy-fangs, and you haven't had enough sleep, and you're worrying whether or not you're doing it right. You forget to pluck your eyebrows, you wear the same clothes every day, showers become a distant memory, and makeup seems pointless.

And deep in the corners of your mind, because you've done this twice before, you're thinking, "in fifteen years I will have to let you go", and you just cannot bear it.

In short, you have to love the dang fur-ball floof-baby. Time to pick up some poop.

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Newf Puppy.

Some people are dog-people: their lives are enriched with a quadruped in their inner circle. I am one of those people. This little guy represents the next 15 years of joy, warmth, fur clusters and top quality slobber. Coming to us early in the new year thanks to and via some very amazing people. And I can hardly wait 

Newfoundland boy puppy, 8 weeks old. 

What's he thinking? What shall I name him? Caption, if it pleases thee, in the comments.

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