February 6, 2013

My Birthday was OUT Of This World!

Yes, today is my birthday and I'm fifty-one. BUT I'M A HAWT 51. Last year when I turned fifty I spent my birthday animating a little film. This year I got an MRI. Which turned out to be not an MRI at all!

It was a vascular CT scan - which is a fancy name for being probed by extra-terrestrials.

When I arrived at the hospital neuro place I got put in a room with a space ship in it. I was warmly greeted by two women, Lucy and Denise (aliens). They told me I was going to be injected with some kind of liquid that would make me feel weird while they took pictures of my head. And I'm not allowed to move. Oh great. Happy Birthday to me.

I lay down on the horizontal surface with my head just inside the space ship. Lucy inserted the biggest-needle-ever into my arm and attached it to an actual machine that goes "ping".

Then Denise and Lucy went and hid behind a window, watching me and likely laughing at my helpless earthling ways. 

I was wiggling my toes to keep from becoming airborne and they told me to stop it. NO moving allowed. The space ship was making strange noises and the operating plank I was lying on moved in and out of it. It was bizzarre. 

Then came a rush of weird bubbly and probably radioactive liquid coursing through my veins up my arm making my heart feel hot and like I had to pee. I was trying not to move but I was breathing in and out really fast and I'm pretty sure I blinked more than Romney and Obama combined in any one of the debates. 

Then the scan probe was over and Lucy made me stand up. I asked her if my pee would glow in the dark. She laughed, took the biggest-needle-ever out of my arm, wished me a happy birthday and left. I guess the gauze wasn't packed on tightly enough cuz my arm started pouring blood onto the floor.

Luckily Denise was still there so she fixed it up. I was kind of disappointed that it was normal colored blood. They were both really nice to me. I always knew the aliens would have a sense of humor.

The Huz took me out for brunch and gave me a massage and stuff so at the moment I'm feeling pretty good. This was not the worst medical test thingie that I've lived through. Some day I'll tell you all about my colonoscopy other probe.

I am brave.


  1. Sounds like iodine contrast, I had that a couple times for renal ultrasounds. It was awesome during the witner because I could go out in 30 degrees in a tshirt and feel fine XD

  2. That does not sound like a spectacular birthday gift. Happy Birthday anyway!

  3. I even got faint seeing cartoon blood, but...

  4. This is in close race to being the worst birthday ever. I hope again you're having a great night!! Happy birthday!!

  5. You were a real trooper :-)

  6. So do you have fire shooting out of your bum, too? I heard the aliens like to do those kinds of things.

    PS: Happy birthday!

  7. The per sensation is very strange for us guys. For me it wasn't pee as much as very very warm, in a certain region, er part actually, and only that spot. Very strange. Glad to see the aliens decided not to take you with them. We would miss you. Happy Birthday!

  8. Happy Belated Birthday JC! It's sucks to be tested by aliens on your birthday but it sounds like The Huz more than made up for it. (did you glow in the dark last night?)

  9. Happy Belated Birthday, J.C.!

    And yes, you ARE a hawt 51!

  10. Thanks friends! Aside from a mighty bruise on my arm I'm doing much better today =]

  11. I'm a CT Tech & this post cracked me up. Had to share it with my co-workers.

  12. I had my worst birthday in 1997. I woke up too early, I think 4.30 AM, didn't know what to do, went to the toilet - let's say my stomach wasn't in the best shape – fainted, hit my head in the washing machine, woke up, hit the floor… Shouted to wake up my husband, he woke up and ran to the bathroom, I had to go to the toilet again, he lifted me, I fainted and I actually passed out and got muscle spasms…

    When I woke up he called the ambulance and soon after I was at the hospital. They couldn't find that anything was wrong with me, except that I fainted too fast. You get muscle spasms if you do that. I also had to MRI and later they did other tests as well. Nothing was wrong with me.

    It was not fun to spend my birthday at the hospital but at least I got some gifts – which impressed on the other patients :-)


Cuz You Rocketh.