January 28, 2013

Shy Animator Writes Press Release!

This is me trying to write a press release. I am in hell. Here's the first line:
"MONTREAL (insert date), 2013 – TV creator/director JC Little introduces PickleWeasel..."
Yawn. That's pretty damn boring JC. Spice it up and don't forget to plug yourself.
"Established animation director, cartoon gangsta and social media sensation JC Little brings her humor and creative talents to a new audience with the launch of her comic & drawing app - "
Too long, didn't read.
"Creative genius launches - "
Wait what? No, no, no you can't call yourself a genius, it's tacky and egotistical. Everyone will hate you.
"Animation industry veteran - "
Seriously? How old are you?
"Animation industry survivor - "
Too negative. 
"Animation industry fossil - "
Funny... but still too negative.
"Animation industry stalwart and cartoon blogger JC Little introduces PickleWeasel, a comic and drawing app, now available for iPad on the App Store."
What the hell is a "stalwart"? Meh. It's still not right - you actually suck at this. 

Let's have a look at the headline now. A good headline will catch the media's eye so they'll want to do a story on the app. Your app is unique - but you're not allowed to use the word 'unique'. Don't forget you hafta make it all SEO magical too - ram those keywords in there!  

"Animated series creator JC Little launches comic and drawing app "PickleWeasel" available for iPad on the App Store."

"TV series director kicks the iPad's ass with mojo-vational PickleWeasel app! Available for iPad on the App Store."

"PickleWeasel abandons blog post to go mobile - Comic & drawing app available for iPad on the App Store."

"Suspicious green cartoon escapes animator's blog! "PickleWeasel" available for iPad on the App Store."

"Audacious toon stars in mojo-boosting app "PickleWeasel"

"Mysterious brine found leaking out of the App Store! "

"PickleWeasel claims responsibility for sudden App Store crunch!"

"Vinegar Aroma baffles Apple!"

"The only app with a PickleWeasel in it!"

"Fossilized animator launches hybrid cartoon character into the mobile world!"

 "Star-crossed PickleWeasel set free by Insane Creative Genius!"

"PickleWeasel : There can be ONLY ONE."

...eh bugger it. Just do a drawing.


Hyper-creative human makes a PickleWeasel app for fun and scribbles on the iPad.

9 comments:

  1. You (almost) make me wish I had some sort of Apple product so I could buy the app! (It is not a coincidence that Apple popularized the abbreviation of application to app, is it?)

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    Replies
    1. Nothing is a coincidence with Apple. But fear not! PickleWeasel will eventually be on other platforms, come spring.

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  2. I can't wait for this to be available for iPhone. I need my PickleWeasel fix!

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  3. I have a brand new Android phone that is just waiting for the Big PW.

    I hate writing bios of any sort. Trying to squeeze all the awesomejuice that is you must be hell. A pleasant type of hell, but still hell.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have a brand new Android phone that is just waiting for the Big PW.

    I hate writing bios of any sort. Trying to squeeze all the awesomejuice that is you must be hell. A pleasant type of hell, but still hell.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I stink at self-promotion. I always get the feeling like I'm bragging and should add in some qualifiers.

    "Try my amazingly fantastic website... Ok, maybe just amazing... or fantastic, not both... Well, maybe just great... It's a pretty good website... I mean, it's decent... Though I'm sure others have done better... Yeah, it looks like there are other sites that are better than mine... I'd rate my site a solid 'Meh, it's ok.'"

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  6. Love the picture. If you ever need a press release again, I'm happy to help. For free, of course.

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  7. Love the app and love this post.

    ReplyDelete

Cuz You Rocketh.