January 28, 2013

Shy Animator Writes Press Release!

This is me trying to write a press release. I am in hell. Here's the first line:
"MONTREAL (insert date), 2013 – TV creator/director JC Little introduces PickleWeasel..."
Yawn. That's pretty damn boring JC. Spice it up and don't forget to plug yourself.
"Established animation director, cartoon gangsta and social media sensation JC Little brings her humor and creative talents to a new audience with the launch of her comic & drawing app - "
Too long, didn't read.
"Creative genius launches - "
Wait what? No, no, no you can't call yourself a genius, it's tacky and egotistical. Everyone will hate you.
"Animation industry veteran - "
Seriously? How old are you?
"Animation industry survivor - "
Too negative. 
"Animation industry fossil - "
Funny... but still too negative.
"Animation industry stalwart and cartoon blogger JC Little introduces PickleWeasel, a comic and drawing app, now available for iPad on the App Store."
What the hell is a "stalwart"? Meh. It's still not right - you actually suck at this. 

Let's have a look at the headline now. A good headline will catch the media's eye so they'll want to do a story on the app. Your app is unique - but you're not allowed to use the word 'unique'. Don't forget you hafta make it all SEO magical too - ram those keywords in there!  

"Animated series creator JC Little launches comic and drawing app "PickleWeasel" available for iPad on the App Store."

"TV series director kicks the iPad's ass with mojo-vational PickleWeasel app! Available for iPad on the App Store."

"PickleWeasel abandons blog post to go mobile - Comic & drawing app available for iPad on the App Store."

"Suspicious green cartoon escapes animator's blog! "PickleWeasel" available for iPad on the App Store."

"Audacious toon stars in mojo-boosting app "PickleWeasel"

"Mysterious brine found leaking out of the App Store! "

"PickleWeasel claims responsibility for sudden App Store crunch!"

"Vinegar Aroma baffles Apple!"

"The only app with a PickleWeasel in it!"

"Fossilized animator launches hybrid cartoon character into the mobile world!"

 "Star-crossed PickleWeasel set free by Insane Creative Genius!"

"PickleWeasel : There can be ONLY ONE."

...eh bugger it. Just do a drawing.

Hyper-creative human makes a PickleWeasel app for fun and scribbles on the iPad.