May 10, 2012

Motherhood = Nerves of Steel.

Mother's Day comes once a year and it's a day for mom to take some time for her self.


Of course, it could end up being just like every other day. Children are so demanding!


As a mom, I think it's important to consider their demands and make the right decisions.


This is where the "nerves of steel" come in handy.


Kids can say terrible, hurtful things. And in the heat of the moment, they really mean it too.


I never take these insults personally. Instead, I choose to focus on important issues, like respect and honesty.


As long as the lines of communication remain open between myself and my kids, and my reflexes remain sharp...


...I think things will probably turn out alright.


A little patience goes a long way, so we try to give them time and space to reflect on their actions.


And while it may often seem that being a mom is a thankless task...


...it actually isn't.


There's just enough pure joy to be thankful for. Remember folks: every day is Mother's Day.

Confession time! What's the worst insult ever hurled at you by your offspring? Or that you ever hurled at your mom?


36 comments:

  1. You mean today? Today, our 5 year old told us that she was changing her last name so she wouldn't have to be part of our family any more. She's a charmer... (Actually, she is charming and hilarious, but strong-willed and stubborn too)

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    1. She sounds awesome, lmao! Our daughter at 15 is an echo of how she was as a toddler... minus the yelling, thank-goodness.

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  2. Ha! I'm chortling at @areyoukiddingme with "You mean today?" Because my 6.5 year old is constantly pulling new things out on me.

    "You're the worst mom. EVER. And I'm NOT being sarcastic."
    "If I had any other mom, I'd be happier."
    "I hate you now and I hate you when you're being nice."
    "I wish I was never your daughter."

    To which I often reply: "That's alright. You are entitled to your feelings, but it's time to stop yelling at me and go sit on the stairs."

    And then I receive:

    "STOP USING YOUR CALM VOICE DAMMIT"

    And then I totally screw up and laugh.

    "WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME! YOU ARE SO AWFUL!"

    *end*

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    1. BRILLIANT! I like how you respect her right to her feelings but also let her know yelling is not ok.

      LOVE the bit about the calm voice hahahaaaaa! Hilarious.

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    2. hahahahaha
      i'm so using a calm voice and then laughing!

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  3. My first run in with such hurtfulness came from my son, when he was just 3. I was in the middle of an ugly divorce/custody battle & a simple trip for him to stand in the corner for something led to him calling me a "f*cking b!tch" (thanks ex-mother-in-law) and he ended up getting his first spanking during that whole fiasco...VERY VERY few have followed since...but yea...he can be quite volatile when he wishes to be. He's almost 10 and thankfully that was the ONLY time he's dared to be that brazen.

    So far the worst I've gotten from my daughter, who is only 4.5, is her calling me a meanie...I deserved it today though because after promising her a sucker from the store for behaving I totally spaced on getting it in the end. :(

    I was never technically volatile to either of my parents until I was an adult - and then only towards my mother. I laid into her about her general immaturity, to put it nicely. It was bad for a few minutes, but for the last few years our relationship has gotten much better than it ever was...some things just had to be said to her that no one else ever had the courage to stand up & say to her, not even her own parents. If anything I was more the adult in the house growing up in comparison.

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  4. Okay...I take some of that back... I completely left my parents in the dark about my dating someone, getting married to them, losing him in a carwreck not long after, & then losing a baby when I was in my late-teens, until I blew up at my mother, as an adult, a few years later. It was pretty bad, but the relationship wasn't there at the time for them to even notice any of the above even while I was still living at home.

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    1. Stephi wow, just wow. You and your long legs have come a long long way. One always hopes to do better as a parent and you are living proof of that.

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  5. When Buddy was almost 3 (he's almost 9 right now), in the midst of The Fit To End All Fits, he yelled at me "stupid" over and over. For a moment I thought it strange, but then I realized that "stupid" was the worst word he knew at the time. So in reality my toddler was calling me a b*tch. When Hubby got home, he gave Buddy the "We brought you into this world and we can take you out" speech. ;-)

    I don't recall ever being outwardly disrespectful and mean to my own parents. But I'm sure I almost got whiplash from all the eye rolling.

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    1. Sometimes kids just gotta let it out and express their anger. When mine were small, I'd tell them to hit the pillow. Those poor pillows.

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  6. My daughter told me one day that I was "a stupid meatball." I ruined the effect by laughing. She's only 4, but she shows originality. :)

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    1. Heheh. That's definitely original. Where did she get it from?

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  7. Ya know, I've never had children because I never felt old enough, or qualified to be a tolerant parent. And since my own mother had two nervous breakdowns, I decided I didn't want to go there too.

    But honestly, I wasn't the one who made Mommy crazy. My sister did! Now she's making ME crazy! And HER kids too.

    Anyway, long ago, between breakdowns and my baby sister's tantrums, Mom put a happy spin on the reality she called our family, while I watched from the sidelines feeling like a Visitor, which I was. I never fit it. It was better that way. Too much denial was going down.

    But my story has a happy ending.

    Mom and I are close friends now. That happened when I got totally honest about everything and stopped playing the "Dutiful Son." Only then could she take a break from being "Mom" and start being a human being. And it all worked out 'cause I got to know Mom as a human being.

    Mom is now 92 years old. And still drives!

    So ya see, every once and while, the TRUTH really does make things better.

    Irv

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    1. That's a pretty awesome and inspiring story Irving. It's good to know that she responded when you got honest with her. I know for a fact that not all parents react positively to that. Thanks for commenting here dude.

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  8. When I asked my 6-year old daughter what she wanted for lunch after berating her for ruining our annual family Christmas photo. She said, "Shame and despair mommy, shame and despair."

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  9. Your drawings made me sad for you today. really hope you make it through this period of time and that one day you and your kids can look back at it and laugh about it with your grandkids. I used to be a total pain in the butt to my mum, but we are really close now, and I hope she knew all along that she was the only one I really trusted when push came to shove. I'm sure your kids feel that way about you too......
    do they read this blog?!

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    1. Oh hon, don't be sad for me, though you are sweet. I'm hanging in there and I do know that my kids love me and know that I love them too. As for this blog, I always get their approval on any stories or drawings depicting them. It's a matter of respect.

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  10. Well, My offspring is too young for insults. I never insulted my mother either, because well 1) She was awesome and 2) I would have got backhanded in the face. (I know awesome). We used to have a mother/daughter that lived across the street though and I heard a doozy 1 day from them. The mother was leaving the house and the daughter was upset because she wouldn't let her do something and she said, "Mom, I hope you get in a car accident and die!". Thankfully, that didn't happen because I am sure she would have felt rather shitty being that was the last thing she said to her mother. I have a policy to never leave angry. Even if still slightly frustrated I always tell the person I am frustrated with I love them and give them a hug.

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  11. Hehehe. Oh boy - NOT looking forward to those days.
    Although, that is a rather lovely orchid!

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  12. My son (now 8) would yell at me from time to time and tell me that he hates me. (Usually this would follow a denied request to do something that he's not permitted to do or that would be dangerous or that we just didn't have time to do right now.) My usual answer is "That's nice. I still love you." Either that or a calmly stated "Ok, you can move out then. This house is only for people who love me." ;-)

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    1. Oooooh low blow hahaha. I'm totally gonna use that one.

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  13. I am a child of adoption but have never known another mother.

    When I wanted to hurt her I would say "I want my REAL mom".

    Stupidly not knowing she WAS my real mom.

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  14. I have blocked them all out. TODAY make exactly 23 years I have been a mother. No man, or parent ever cut my soul as deeply as one of my children on any day. However- I never drew a real breath or felt my own heart beat until the day I was a mother, the pain is deep but that's only because the love is BEYOND deep. also being called a demented psychopathic cult leader on youtube really didn't feel that great but at least my child realized I had leadership skills LOL

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    1. Peach you are amazing - your glass always seems to be half full. I love the way you see life. The love is truly beyond deep...

      My kids call me "bossy" all the time. Does that mean I have leadership skills too?

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  15. Well, isn't this request timely? Just this morning, after having our ritual of "get dressed" times 10, "brush your teeth" times 15, etc. my 7 y/o gets in the car to go to school and says to me,"today was supposed to be a really happy one for you, mom, but you've ruined it because you are so bossy." and he refused to talk to me on the ride to school.

    Today is the Mother's Day tea at his school, hence his "happy day" comment.

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    1. Aw...I hope it turned out well in the end. See the above comment, "bossy" = leadership skills!

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  16. My kid's the same way! She's 17 and going to be a mom so she's going to go through with this baby the same thing I went with her at age 11!

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  17. OMG i wish you where my mom.... my mom just yells at me and doesnt love me ( im a teen) :'(

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  18. Ah I needed this today, not just as a mum but as a 28 year old daughter, even now I can be so mean to my mum then regret it two minutes later, heat of the moment and all that but no excuse she is a one in a million and I'm truly blessed to have her. Thank you for the reminder

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  19. Ah I needed this today, not just as a mum but as a 28 year old daughter, even now I can be so mean to my mum then regret it two minutes later, heat of the moment and all that but no excuse she is a one in a million and I'm truly blessed to have her. Thank you for the reminder

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  21. Great article Lot's of information to Read...Great Man Keep Posting and update to People..Thanks motherhood

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Cuz You Rocketh.