September 5, 2013

Second chances.

It strikes me that a "no second chance" attitude is pretty much why teens commit suicide, why there are honor killings and burning brides in some cultures, and why a woman can get arrested, flogged or stoned to death for being raped in certain countries. It has a pernicious shame at its root.

On the plus side, there's a lot of discussion going on about it and I think that's healthy.


Helping our children navigate the insanity that is adolescence is difficult enough without social media archiving everything. After all the mistakes I've made in my life, I can't imagine not ever having the chance to get it right, somehow. The second chance, and all the chances after that are what made me all that I am today.

And I refuse to believe that I am not worthy.

What would your life be like if you'd had no second chances?



17 comments:

  1. Love your label for Mrs. Hall. LOL.

    Her whole post is just... ugh. Like you said though, I am glad it sparked lots of discussions around the net and hopefully it gets a lot more parents to talk to their children BOYS AND GIRLS about respecting themselves and others, no matter how people present themselves.

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    1. Exactly. It comes down to choices and respect no matter how they present.

      I don't think Mrs. Hall is bad, I don't blame her, personally. She is a product of a dangerous ideology...

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  2. I was the perfect teenager...no, seriously, I was, complete with my mother shaming me for being "Miss Goody Two Shoes"...I made up for it in my early 20s, and then some. I'd hate though to imagine life with no 2nd chances....or 17th chances to get it right, or at least right enough.

    I am happy to see the discussions going on about it though and sincerely hope it at least helps some people open up with both themselves and their children about respecting not only themselves, but also others, but then to also understand that not everyone is perfect, whether they're in their teens, 20s, or even into their 70s and thus deserving of another chance to be re-taught/redirected.

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    1. I think that's pretty key, no one is perfect as you say. Though I think that people have to want that second chance. They have to be willing to work for it. Not to take it for granted.

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  3. Love that comment - product of a dangerous ideology..

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    1. Yeah...unfortunately that ideology exists in so many cultures, all over the world. Ugh. We really need to get our shit together and stop believing that women bear the burden of responsibility for the lust of men. Men need to own this and realize they have a choice. And be responsible.

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  4. If I was standing in front of my teenage self today, I'd probably want to kick my own arse.

    But you know what? If I wasn't my teenage self, I wouldn't be the intelligent woman I am today. Second chances got me into a great college, got me great jobs, and has led me to meet wonderful people.

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    1. Yes! I speak for myself, of course, but if I was standing in front of my self of last week, I'd want to kick my own arse :D

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  5. "The second chance, and all the chances after that are what made me all that I am today."

    Love this. Bang on. xo

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  6. I wake up every day hoping that it is my next best chance. I have a daughter that battles anxiety mixed with depression. She dabbles in cutting and negative body issues. What would I do if given a second chance? I'd give it to her in the form of a positive self image. I'd wrap it in a fucking sparkly bow, sprinkle it with glitter and serve it raw...anything to let her know she is as deserving of ALL THE THINGS as anyone else.

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    1. There's a mother's love right there, giving your own second chance to your daughter. How I wish we could just put them back inside sometimes.

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  7. I'm sitting here with teary eyes and a grateful heart...of all the posts written in response to hers (and some were very well written and well thought out) this is my favorite.

    thank you for it, because those 2nd chances are the heart of what makes us who we are.
    XOXO

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    1. I think so. And that's where the human spirit dwells. That what I think anyways.

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  8. This is just perfect. PERFECT!

    Not even going to wreck it with analysis.

    If someone had documented my teens and 20s, I probably would've moved to Tibet. I'm so glad that was never an issue. I mean, that what those years are for -- screwing up so you can start over and over. How else do you learn how to not be a screw up?

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    1. Exactly. We are not born knowing how to do anything. We need to allow our children to make their own mistakes - as painful as it seems we must let go of them. Parenting is all about letting go.

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Cuz You Rocketh.