June 1, 2013

Rob Ford, Mayor of Toronto, is....The BLACK KNIGHT.

WARNING: Political cartooning. Also... body parts.

Craziness in Canada, people! Embattled Mayor Rob Ford of Toronto has some kinda pit-bull-determination-strategy for dealing with any and all allegations. The recent hemorrhage of staff from Toronto City Hall (6 people in a week) and the Mayor's subsequent insistence that "everything's going fine" reminded me of The Black Knight from Monty Python's Holy Grail.




Bombarded with questions from the media, all Ford had to say was, "Anything else? Anything else? Anything else?" If this catchphrase ain't meme-worthy I don't know what is.

With the alleged crack cocaine scandals, Rob Ford is enjoying the kind of publicity most people would pay an arm and a leg for (see what I did there). His shit is covered all over the world! I don't really care one way or another if the allegations are true or not. The story has me hooked and here's why:

It's the unresolved tension. I love a good mystery. And I hope he never spills the beans about what really happened.

The man really seems to get a kick out of helping people, but let's face it, he sucks at governing. He and his brother are always proclaiming what a great job they're doing, saving the taxpayers money and all kinds of crap that's been proven to be false. It was a mess over in Toronto even before the latest scandal.

Here's an idea: Rob Ford should quit politics. I mean, he seems to be enjoying all this attention...and I rather think he'll miss it when it's gone. So I think he should use his charisma and all this media attention to become The Most Amazing Philanthropist the world has ever known. With his personality and propensity to say whatever pops into his head, he's a shoe-in for regular appearances on every talk show out there.

And think of all the good he'd do if he didn't have to be slimey! As long as he never publicly announces his side of the story, keep that unresolved tension locked up tight, and the good people of Earth will eat out of his hand forever.

But this will only happen if / when he leaves politics.