June 26, 2010

The DEAD RAT Story

WARNING: There is a dead rat in this story.

I was trying to tweet this experience last night, and there were many, many interruptions from several insolent tweeps parading as grownups (you know who you are). When I was finally allowed to finish the story it occurred to me that dang, I shoulda blogged the sucker instead. Put it down to a lamentable lack of blogger experience on my part. Luckily for you someone out there convinced me I could still blog about it.


















It went something like this - I'll try to map out the rude interruptions without naming names:

Today I walked out of the nice, clean, perfect Apple Store and saw a dead rat in the road. Squished. Bleah. #incongruous

*INTERRUPTION*

Back to the dead rat story; so it's laying on the road right next to our car. In fact I have to actually step over it to get in. #Bleah

*INTERRUPTION*

So anyway I'm like, ew, yuck, don't look at the dead rat JC, in my head. But of course I don't look away in time. #imprint #brainburn

*INTERRUPTIONS*

So AS I WAS SAYING just enough of the dead rat laying on the asphalt at my feet burned into my retina to scar me.

*Multiple INTERRUPTIONS*

OK. So back to the DEAD RAT story. I was completely traumatized as the sight of it seared an image into my brain. I had to do something desperate.

*INTERRUPTIONS*INTERRUPTION* INTERRUPTIONS*

I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE BUT WOULD YOU ALL MIND IF I FINISHED MY STORY ABOUT THE DEAD RAT?

*APOLOGIES*

Ahem. So there I am, my mind reeling from the sight of this poor, squished, dead rat, lying on the pavement, drying out a little in the sun.

*SILENCE*

With its bald tail at an awkward angle.

*SILENCE*

And its little ears, all flat...

*DISTANT COUGHING*

So I got into the car and thought, "holy guacamole. WHAT can I do to cleanse myself of the TRAUMA of seeing this dead squished rat?"

*Then someone cracked a JOKE. Three people actually.*

HAHAHA! DAMMIT LET ME FINISH. Please.

*Another JOKE*

Can I finish?

*APOLOGIES*

So I'm like ew, gross, bleah, dead-squished-rat, and I suddenly realized the only thing I could do was... (wait for it)

*At this point one particular tweep was most insistent that 'nachos' was the answer.*

No nachos. Sit down and zip it.

*SILENCE*

...(wait for it)...

*SILENCE*

...was to go straight home, get online and buy a Macbook Pro. #deadrat #theend

* * *

Now I'm a PC/Windows gal all the way. So what do you think that has to say about Apple's marketing?

PS. This story continues HERE.

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