Definitely not drinking is easier than drinking; my struggle ended when I made the decision to quit. It incinerated this punishing loop of self-loathing.
I remember being scared, like, what if I fail? And my mom said, "Yes, you might fail. But if you fail, it's alright; you start over. You're allowed to fail." And I was like, oh, that's pretty straightforward. I can do this.
Life is a little different. I lost a friend or two along the way. It forced me to re-evaluate my friendship goals. And that was sad, but ultimately liberating.
I don't get invited to aaaaalll the parties anymore. Though I do get invited to some. I was at a friend's birthday celebration and I was laughing and having fun. A man offered me some wine. I told him, "No, thanks". He then straight-up told me that he was going to order a bottle and that I was going to drink some. After momentarily toying with the idea of just telling him, "I'M AN ALCOHOLIC" I thought, but why give any explanation when "no" should be enough? So I simply repeated myself, "No. Thank-you." He backed away.
I have the power. I'm good. Love you guys!