Pretend Interview with Queen Latifah and me.

WARNING: None of this happened; I drew it for the Queen Latifah Show's website two years ago after she photobombed me at BlogHer. The QLS editors decided to drop the story because they didn't want the public to think that this was a real interview that actually occurred. So I shelved it. Until now. Gosh I hope they don't sue me.

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Famous authors get invited on celebrity talk-shows to plug their new books. But I'm pretty much a nobody and it's highly unlikely that I'll ever get asked to appear on anyone's talk show. So I figured I'd do the next best thing: draw a completely made-up pretend interview! YESSSS. I am very smart.

In which a pretend Queen Latifah pretend interviews me about my book (that part is real):

QL:  We have an unusual guest today, let's give a warm welcome to JC Little, The Animated Woman!

QL:  Welcome! Welcome to the Queen Latifah Show! So... you wrote and illustrated a children's book..."The Last Snowman, by JC Little". What does "JC" stand for?

JC:  Hey, I'm making up this interview, you can't ask me that!

QL:  Sorry! Okay. Tell me about your book - you published it yourself, right, what do you call it, 'self published’?

JC:  Uh-huh. I brought a copy for you.

QL:  Tell me, JC...how does one go about marketing a self-published book? I mean, you're just one person, right? It's not like you have a big publishing machine behind you - how do you get the word out there to sell your books?

JC:  I have some friends who have helped out by reviewing my book on their blogs. But you're right: it's really hard to make a splash in the big ole' internet if you don't have a big publishing house behind you. You have to be inventive and do pretend interviews.

QL:  I'm gonna read it now...

QL:  Awww ...*sniff*...it's really funny and sweet. This is the best picture book ever; the story is heartwarming and the drawings are BOSS! This right here…this could be a best seller.

JC:  I know right?

QL:  Funnay! How do you feel about the fact that very few people will ever get to read your book, because no one's ever heard of you?

JC:  Welp....I like to think about those few people who are reading it and I hope they're enjoying it. When you’re little and you have stories read to you, you grow up with those stories inside you. You take them with you. And you remember them when you are older. Stories are what matter and I'm a story artist.

QL:  "Story artist" I like that! And I really love the way you've drawn me. I am a super cute cartoon.

JC:  It's just stick-figures...you know.

QL:  Well I wish you luck, and if it's any help, I know it's you making me say this in a pretend interview, but I really love your book, and I’m pretty sure lots of other people out there will like it too.

JC:  Aw....you're so kind, Queen Latifah.

QL:  I mean it! Thanks for being on my pretend show, and letting me pretend interview you.

JC:  You are welcome. Thanks for having me! And thanks for letting me pretend you're pretend interviewing me. Ha.

QL:  You're not gonna tell me what "JC" stands for, are you?

JC:  And spoil the mystery?

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When the pretend applause has faded you can hop on over to Amazon and check out The Last Snowman, my book that Queen Latifah has never read.

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Shy Author Stabs Book Store Manager With Pen.

"I'm incredibly shy, so this is difficult for me." Eek. Did I really just say that?

The corners of my mouth twitched. Holy shit. Am I going to cry? Please don't let me cry.

I'd finally got myself to the big Indigo bookstore in downtown Montreal and got the gumption up to speak to the Store Manager. The place was bustling and he was busy, but he stopped long enough to listen.

"How can I help you?"

I gulped air. "I'm one of those authors who's wondering how to get their book on the shelf in this store." My cheeks throbbed with the blushing.

The store manager's eyes glazed over; he inhaled deeply and released a long rehearsed verbal instruction about somehow getting into the category-something-listing-thingie via the main Toronto office. As if I could do that. A tear leaked out the corner of my eye and made itself known.

But then he said there was another option. "Consignment!" he declared, his eyes softening, "here's the name and email of the person to contact..."

I dove into my purse and whipped out my trusty Micron and an old envelope and, in my excitement, I stabbed the Store Manager in the hand with my pen. In a store named after a type of ink. Fuck.

We both stared at the tiny 0.3 spot probably now tattooed on his hand.

"FUCK! I totally just stabbed you with my pen! I'm sorry!"

"Haha, it's okay," he said rubbing his wrist, "here's the email address." He was that busy.

I started scribbling the info.

"Oh and by the way..." he added,  "...they're now taking applications for February."

As if stabbing the Book Store Manager of the biggest book store in Montreal wasn't enough, you can now taste, nay, savour the bitter irony of having your beautiful hardcover books ready months in advance, but being too shy to talk to someone about getting them onto Indigo's consignment list in time for Christmas.

I draw stories. I fail at getting them out there. But I win at drawing stories about failing at getting them out there.

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If you want the hardcover edition of The Last Snowman, you have to email me directly. For now.

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Book giveaways comin' atcha.

The official book launch for PickleWeasel Picture Riddles is set for this Monday, December 1st (you should have digested your turkey dinners by then). I've heard that some folks have gone ahead and bought it already though. Sneaky... and very pickleweasely.

Here's my daughter showcasing it.

A video posted by JC Little (@theanimatedwoman) on Nov 11, 2014 at 7:49pm PST

To celebrate, there's a giveaway on Goodreads. Five books to win.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

PickleWeasel Picture Riddles

by J.C. Little

Giveaway ends December 03, 2014.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Also, we now have some gorgeous special edition hardcovers of The LAST Snowman. These are lovely quality books. The 14 year old girl (now 17) shows you the book here.

A video posted by JC Little (@theanimatedwoman) on Nov 11, 2014 at 7:55pm PST

You can only get them from me directly and they are now at the seasons greetings price of $16 plus shipping. I would be thrilled and humbled to sign them for you. There is a giveaway for this one too - one book only.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

The LAST Snowman

by J.C. Little

Giveaway ends December 03, 2014.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

I hope you like my books. They're mostly pictures.

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Hot Chocolate Swirl.

Hot Chocolate Swirl...sound delicious right? Well, don't eat it, because it's soap!

Photo courtesy of Dot & Lil.

Dot & Lil came on board The LAST Snowman blog tour as a "featured sponsor". They create luxurious bath & beauty and skincare products with a fresh, young feel, handmade in their Montreal studio. This custom soap was designed just for the book giveaways - it's chocolate scented and has chocolate sprinkles on top.

Fun right?

Anne from Dot & Lil took some photos of the soap being made so I popped them into a timeline with one of The Huz's tunes.



"Hot Chocolate Swirl" soap is limited edition, meaning you can't buy it. So if you won it in one of the giveaways, consider yourself lucky*. Perfect for relaxing in a hot bath with a book. It's almost better than real hot chocolate.

Dot & Lil just launched their spring line - and it smells gorgeous and Mothers Day is coming.

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EPIC blog tour for #TheLastSnowman!

Right. So here's something: I'm doing a virtual book tour.

From today all through the month of February, the 27 wonderful writers listed below will be offering up their impressions of The LAST Snowman picture-book and along with each, the chance for their readers to win prizes and swag-stuffs.
Tadaaa! I overcame my shyness enough to approach to some of my favourite brands.

Boiron® are a featured sponsor of this blog tour! They're a world leader in homeopathic medicines for the whole family. Since the book is winter-themed and winter is cold and flu season, The Boiron Prize Pack* is a selection of 'winter essentials' to help you stay healthy so you can get outside and build a snowman in this polar-vortexy-wintry wonderland.

The prize pack will include Oscillo, Coldcalm, and Chestal for giveaway winners in the USA, and Coryzalia, Stodal, Oscillo and Cicadermine (great to relieve a red and irritated nose!) in Canada.
*These homeopathic medicines might not be right for everyone. Always read and follow the label.

I'm so pleased to be able to offer this to my blog hosts readerships in both the USA and Canada! These are brands that I use myself all the time, especially the Oscillo and also their Arnicare gel, and I trust them. It is a real thrill that they also love the book.

Dot & Lil are a featured sponsor too! They create luxurious bath & beauty and skincare products with a fresh, young feel, all handmade in their Montreal studio. Dot & Lil are designing a custom soap just for The LAST Snowman blog tour - a "Hot Chocolate Swirl" limited edition soap! Creamy chocolate scented with chocolate-soap sprinkles on top, and the book cover design on the label. Fun right? 

Because after playing in the snow (or just freezing your buns off out there) the best thing ever is to come inside and soak in a hot bath with soap that will leave you smelling good enough to eat.

You won't be able to buy this actual soap because it's specially made for this giveaway. So definitely enter for a chance to win!

Also included in Dot & Lil's gift bag will be the Shea Rescue Butter for lips and nails. This is just what you want when the extreme cold leaves you dry and chapped.

Dot & Lil's spring line is about to launch - surfing their Instagram and Pinterest is a real tease for the new products. You can almost smell the lusciousness...

Ahem. In addition to the above swag, I'm also gifting:

A cute mug featuring one of the illustrations from the book: perfect for a little hot chocolate after playing in the snow.

And of course, a paperback copy of The LAST Snowman.

This blog tour is going to be EPIC. Because all these people are in it:

Resplendent By Design
Mundane Magic
Life With Roozle
The Guavalicious Life
The Angel Forever
Kat's Book Buzz
Ginger Sass
Good Day Regular People
Jefferson Parish Parent
Pajamas & Coffee
Where's the F#*cking Mommy Manual?!?
DadNCharge
That's What She Said
Last Shreds of Sanity
The (mis)adventures of Mamakujo
Musings on Motherhood & Midlife
The Smartness
Brookly Berry Designs
World's Worst Moms
Dragondreamers Lair
A Day in the Life of Kat
My Book Addiction
Don't Take the Repeats
They Call Me Mummy
Frosted Fingers
Am I a Funny Girl?
Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva

All different, all special and each with their own diverse readerships. I love them forever.

Go check out them out! Enter the giveaways! Tell them I said Hi!
The LAST Snowman is available on Createspace and Amazon. If you've read this book and you feel moved to do a short review on Amazon or Goodreads, it will be very much appreciated.

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Print-on-demand: Joy or Despair?

So just to recap, I made a book called The LAST Snowman. I launched the first version as an ebook two weeks ago and you can pick it up for all things Kindle on Amazon. That version is already getting some really sweet reviews on Amazon and around the Internet, so I am happy.

But there's something about holding a book in your hands that's just so nice. A few people, including moi, wanted to experience this. So I went ahead and made a "print on demand" version. That means that I don't have to outlay tons of cash to have thousands of copies of the book printed (where most of them can then sit in my closet undisturbed for a billion years). And it also means that I can offer YOU a cute print version of The LAST Snowman for a decent price.

I was just worried about the colours; would they be nice? How would the paper feel? Is this the right size?

Joy or Despair? Let's find out:

Nice shiny cover; I ordered two proofs so I could compare them (ignore my yucky table cloth!)

This is what 50 pages looks like -perfect bound (no staples).

Looking inside, full bleed (colour goes right to the edge).

There's very little transparency in the paper, the colours are nice and deep and decently close to my screen shots.

And as a "real book" experience? This is where it really wins:

Definitely JOY.

You can now buy your very own copy of The LAST Snowman here on Createspace. It will be up on Amazon in about a week.

Don't hesitate to leave me a review on Amazon; it will make us both feel good.

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Book cover.

While I'm waiting for Amazon's Createspace to approve my book cover for the print version of The LAST Snowman, I thought I'd amuse myself by making you all turn your heads sideways.

Just kidding! Click to embiggen.

Biting my nails here - how long does it usually take them to approve a cover? Self-publishing is fun! 

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How self-publishing a book is like giving birth.

WARNING: Partial nudity.

As you know, I made a book. Making a book is just like making a baby. Perhaps not the making part...

...but probably the growing part. And most definitely, the pushing out part. Especially if you're self-publishing.

I won't lie to you; it's really fucking painful. Nothing can prepare you for the torture leading up to the actual release. And yes, you will probably shit yourself. (I decided not to draw that part because I am nice.)

You can beg and plead for an epidural or hardcore narcotics, or even pray that a falling piano will knock you out and take the pain away.

But you won't get any drugs, because you're self-publishing! Ha ha.

"I'll never have sex again!" you vow.

Yeah, yeah. Everyone says this while giving birth, but you can't deny that even as you endure the awful thunder in your blood, there's already a glimmer of another sexy book lurking in the creative soup of your consciousness.

And then, just when you think you can't take it anymore, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Literally.

The book is about to launch - bear down! Bear down!
Give'er one last push.

Push!

PUSH!!

You did it! Your book is out!

And you're still alive.

Welcome to the World little one!

It's a goddamn miracle.

You're overcome with maternal joy. (Even if you're a dude.)

Congratulations on what seems to be a happy, healthy baby book, to have, to hold, and to share. Possibly even destined for the New York Times bestseller list - you never know, right?

Let's celebrate! Champagne! Enjoy the moment.

Because the real work has only just begun.

You have to keep the baby alive - feed it and give it lots of love and attention. By attention, I mean publicity; make sure folks know about the book-baby. Get that fucker out there!

Don't banish the baby to forgotten boxes in the dusty shadows of your garage or basement. You mustn't let the baby die! It's counting on you - you're all it's got.

And... don't forget the afterbirth!

Notes on self-publishing:

• It's not easy; but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.
• You probably won't make money; but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.
• Your first book might not be very good; but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. 
• Although self-publishing e-books is free, you will probably have to give up something you love. Like sleep. You might want to think about that one.

Life is short people. Go forth and tell your stories.

The LAST Snowman is my first book. These folks all yelled "PUSH!" and deserve my thanks. Smack me if I've forgotten someone...but not too hard, because I'm still post natal:

Jill Smokler AKA ScaryMommy, Annie @ PhD in Parenting, Tracy Beckerman from Lost in Suburbia.
Virginia, Mona, Gigi.
Sandi, Derek, Stephie, Brandie, Åsa, Kristin, Judy, Susie, Julia, Dean, Tracy, Tanya, Brooke, Scotty, Tanya, Susie, Julia, Virginia, Michael, Sarah.
Everyone who took the time to read my blog and tell me they liked it.
Uncle Simon, The Huz, all our children and my mom.

But most of all, I want to thank the fourteen-year-old girl.

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