I'm sitting here drawing and my husband comes in and lays some bad news on me: it's my turn to make supper. Ugh. Can you believe I'd rather draw it than cook it? Laziness is a bizarre motivator for art. But I bet I could make your mouth water with my stick food recipes.....
So I asked my tweeps what they were hungry for. You're welcome.
We've got Buffalo burger with cheddar cheese, ketchup and mustard for @Jeff_Venting
Matchstick carrots for @80sgirlforever. How appropriate, my dear. Crunchy but warm! That's the way I do 'em. With butter and some lemon zest
I put the rib steak on for @flyddw but I had to go tuck my 10 year old boy in, and when I came back downstairs it was actually on fire. I had to break out my fire extinguisher. It's kind of burnt. I wiped all the foam off though. Sorry!
If you didn't win a t-shirt here, there is a consolation prize. It's called "The Battle of the BABIES" and it's pretty epic if I do say so myself.
Time to announce the winner for the 3000 FOLLOWERS "speech bubble" contest!
It weren't easy. I struggled....the entries were all great. It tickled my funny bone to see how many of you really pay attention to the stuff that goes on around here. Even if you missed the contest, it's worth reading it just for the entries, heheh.
So right! Two winners coming right up. But first, know this:
Humor is subjective. The only person who had to find these funny was me. The only person who gets to wear this shirt, is the winner. So you might not find these as funny as I do, and that's okay. Got that? Good! Great! Fabby! All decisions are final.
And that's it! I'll get a hold of you both on Twitter and get your sizes.
Special mentions of appreciation go to: @mentallyinked for "Animated is the new BLACK." @barbieangell for "i'm not as drunk as you tweet i am."
And @brermatt for "Baby Palin 2012" and a ton of enthusiam.
Two of the funniest people on the internet, they'll make you fill your shorts right up. Put them together and all hell breaks loose. This twitter convo went down just as my following shot the roof off of 3000...
I was sweaty and nervous.
JC: Wow.....3 more to go.....I'm getting all sweaty and nervous.....
Eeeeeeeks. I'm at 2999. I might just have to go to the bathroom.
And then the dude tweeted:
WhyIsDaddyCrying: my dear friend @LittleAnimation is 1 follower away from 3,000!!! Follow, you won't regret it...she hates Snuggies and draws real good-like
JC: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Avalanche of followers....HELP ME!!!!!!
JC: Holy crapoly. Your shoutout farking flooded me dude. I was swept away. #tsunami
WhyIsDaddyCrying: hahaha...I have awesome followers, what can I say?!!! Glad it worked and congrats on crossing 3,000!
JC: Thank-you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (way too many exclamation points but I can't help it)
WhyIsDaddyCrying: Anything for you my dear !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Enter The Peach...
IamthePeachy1: Dude get your lips off her butt that shirt is MINE MINE MINE!
JC: HAHAHAHAHA! Oh too funny! #hislips #mybutt
IamthePeachy1: I am serious I have already purchased pajama pants to match the shirt I am surely to win. #mylips #yourbutt #hesout
WhyIsDaddyCrying: Guuuuuurl...I'll pull your damn weave out! You best step-off that shirt!!!
IamthePeachy1: Grrr...! Somebody hold my earrings.
All of a sudden, I realize I'm trapped in a car with two sugar deprived toddlers.
JC: CUT IT OUT you too. Yeeesh. You're worse than my two redheads.
IamthePeachy1: Um. I am a redhead. Also.. he started it
JC: WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!?
IamthePeachy1: He's touching me... he started it.... I didn't do it.... he hit me!
WhyIsDaddyCrying: She said I'm "stupid" and a "poopy face" and then burped at me!!
IamthePeachy1: Nuh uh. He's a liar, he's a big fatty-fat-fat liar and he farted on my french fries !
JC: Alright. That's it. I'm pulling over. Dammit.
IamthePeachy1: Ok but he started it.
WhyIsDaddyCrying: That's bull crap!!! She said my momma's so fat she wears a VCR as a beeper...and that's just mean!!
JC: I will only say this once: If you don't stop arguing in the car, I will stop drawing.
IamthePeachy1: Totally stopping, just don't make me hug him.
WhyIsDaddyCrying: Oh shit!! NNNOOOO!!! I'll be good, I'll be good!!!
IamthePeachy1: Me too me too me too.
JC: WHO'S YOUR MOMMA?
WhyIsDaddyCrying: You are! You are!! But ummm...I kinda was hoping I'd be spanked at some point!...but I'll stop anyway I guess
I'm coming up to 3000 followers on Twitter. Woohoo. I'm thinking I'd like to celebrate that and give a little something back to you guys in appreciation of all the nice things you say to me.
So here's a little contest / giveaway thingie. See this drawing? Picture it on a t-shirt.
I'll prolly make them on Zazzle or something so you get your choice of size etc.
"Hey JC! I'm kinda scared. How do I enter?
Fear not! I'm won't make you jump through hoops in my contest. Even though I could ask you to "follow" this blog, to "LIKE" my Facebook page, repost it on your own Facebook page, retweet the sucker to kingdom come using the button at the bottom of this post, and urge everyone you know to follow me on Twitter...I won't. Because that would make me a slut. Obviously, though, I totally appreciate retweets and shoutouts and will be your best friend forever if you share this link right now. Whee!
There's two t-shirts up for grabs:
One t-shirt with the "t" goes to the 3000th real Twitter follower.
The other t-shirt goes to another follower who comments on this post as follows:
UPDATE: Due to the huge number of hilarious entries and general enthusiasm combined with the fact that you guys retweeted like a bunch of maniacs...I'll be selecting two winners.
You may suggest something to replace the "t" - a big banana, a rocket ship, a street lamp, or something funny that fits in that space. *
You must comment your idea of what should go into the speech bubble. Try to keep it clean and make sure all the words will fit in the bubble.
*A crowd of people who look like your relatives will get you automatically disqualified!
The winner will be the funniest one, and I get to decide that, cuz it's my contest.
Oh yeah, if you win, you should post the image to your blog or Facebook page (if you have one) and link back to here. That would be cool.
Contest ends Friday, the 21st of January, midnight. I'll announce the winner on Monday evening. Open to anybody anywhere, though I can't guarantee shipping to some remote places.
A note about the image: Twitter's trademark people just got back to me about the "t" in the design. They say I can do a one - off contest as long as I don't sell any.
Um. Remember that thing I said about being your best friend...?
This started off as an interview and sorta morphed into me and her getting all drunk and stuff.
JC: Okey dokes. We don't know your real name, so let's call you LADY. And since you're incognito I guess I'll hafta draw you. Here's some cartoon girlies - tell me which one you look most like. You can mix and match btw. After that we can start drinking.
LADY: Like Chaka Khan, I can certainly find a little bit of myself in every woman, including Caillou, because he's a little girl ;) However, since I'm not attached to a polygraph I'm gonna go with Jessica Rabbit's body, Betty Boop's flirtiness, Marge's heart, and Palin's ummmmmmmmmmmm vagina because she HAS to fuck like a champ to have gotten where she is today.
JC: Hah! Ok. I'll draw a picture of you. Just as soon as I retrieve my jaw from the floor. And return to my normal colouring....
JC: Oh wow, I just drew your hair and guess what - you're wearing a bumpit.
LADY: NOOOOOOO! A bumpit????? Please JC don't make me look like a reality famewhore. I'd rather have you draw me with the "Bieber."
LADY: I do have Marge's love for her family. But I said Marge's heart, not her hair!!!
LADY: Bitch stole my wig!
LADY: Wait do I have DORA HAIR????????????????? Please don't give me Dora hair.
JC: Okaaaaay. You are NO fun.
LADY: I AM FUN! I AM FUN! (stomps feet. Shakes fist. Passes out.)
LADY: That's bettah. Now draw my juicy fruit bootay ;)
JC: Ok voilà. Your boobs now enter the room a half-hour before the rest of you.
LADY: Hey that looks just like me!
JC: Here, I ordered us some sake.
LADY: Thanks. You know it's my favorite. Although do you think you can handle me after a few bottles of sake? I used to be a serious party girl and sake is the only alcohol that can still bring her out.
JC: Are you gonna to fall off the chair if you drink too much? Cuz that would be cool.
LADY: Fall off a chair? Lover, I am a LADY. I'm more likely to re-enact that scene from 'Flashdance.' BTW I love that you were a video vixen ;) One year I was a seat filler at the MTV Video Awards and ended up being part of Wu-Tang Clan the entire night. Busta Rhymes put me in a head lock. I was really high. It was one of the strangest nights of my life.
JC: I used to be a wild party girl too. One time I was partying with Motley Crüe, and I woke up the next morning in another city. True story. Um....what's a "video vixen"? I never saw Flashdance and I had to ask my husband who the heck Wu-Tang Clan is. My ignorance continues to fascinate me.
LADY: WHAT IN THE HOLY SHIT??? How did you never see Flashdance? Jennifer Beals? Ripped sweatshirt?
JC: Meh. I live in a bubble. The idea of someone putting you in a headlock is cool though, especially if he's got a name like Busta Rhymes. I'm guessing MTV is big on sake! Hahaha, no one is going to understand what we're talking about.
LADY: Even I don't understand what we're talking about. Did our interview start? This is why I can't drink.
JC: Me too. I should never drink and draw.
JC: Do you believe in ZOMBIES?
LADY: I do not believe in zombies. I prefer vampires because at least they fuck you to death.
JC: Hahahaha! Classic. Vampires fuck and suck.
I was just worried that, there was a ZOMBIE nearby, cuz of that scratching ...and whining.
JC: Now where were we? OK, who was your first "date"?
LADY: I was never a dater. I was either happily single or somehow fell into a relationship. As "ballsy" as I am on twitter I'm actually a very traditional girl.
JC: Well, I admire your twitter "persona". I love how you expose the gritty truth of current events with intelligent, barbed humour.
LADY: Thank you for saying such nice things about me. :) I'm blushing. I find it funny you say my twitter "persona" because I'm kind of the same in life. I love to laugh and have surrounded myself with some of the funniest friends. However, I only really flirt with my hottie husband. I guess I've always been a bit of a snarker. Since becoming a full time mom, twitter & my blog are my connection to that side of myself. So not sure that answered your question. I just do what I do. Can you tell my mom you think I'm funny and smart?
JC: Happy Birthday Lady.
LADY: Thanks lover!
OK guys; what do you want for your birthday?
PS. I was never a video vixen. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.